You can’t meet a suitable man online or offline because you’re not paying attention to the RIGHT criteria. You’re looking at what you have in common instead of looking at if he is masculine, healthy, and ready, in that order.
If he’s not those 3 things and you’re dating for marriage it DOES NOT matter if you both speak French or if you both like to travel. IT WILL NOT WORK if he’s not those 3 things.
The Early Indicators: Decoding Man Messages
And what’s even better is this: Men tell you almost everything you need to know about them in the first 3 message/convo exchanges.
And if you don’t catch everything you need to know at the initial online message/conversation exchange, he will tell you in your first phone call.
And if you don’t catch it there, he will tell you on your first date.
This goes for 99% of men.
Let me illustrate this with a story.
A client of mine was dating online.
Based on the profile he seemed very attractive, educated, fit, socially well-rounded, masculine and an all-around great family guy.
When they got on the phone, she practiced everything I taught her.
✔️ Leaned back – let him lead the conversation.
✔️ Listened to learn – what are his opinions? Men’s opinions
point to their values. Listen to what he says with the lens of, “what can I learn here,” and not with the lens of “do I agree or disagree?”
✔️ Left lots of space – You don’t have to jump in and answer every question or fill in the empty space in the conversation. Yes, this is uncomfortable but courageous!
On that phone call, she felt awkward. It’s like he made her do all the work.
He seemed impatient and uncomfortable when there was empty space in the conversation when she didn’t jump in to fill it in, ask questions or save him.
He told her about his frustration with not having his buddies around as much as he’d like because most of them had settled down with wives and kids.
But she listened VERY carefully and because she left space, he elaborated. He wished he still had company to go out to bars, exercise and do guy stuff.
Phone Calls as Truth-Tellers: Unveiling Authentic Intentions
And because she leaned back, left space and LISTENED, she caught the distinction between:
“I wish my buddies were more available for me” and “I can’t wait until I have a wife and kids to hang out with like my buddies do.”
Those two are VERY different men if you’re dating for marriage. And many women can’t tell the difference because they are not really LISTENING!
He wasn’t sharing from the perspective that he’s ready for a long term committed relationship even though that’s what his profile said (lots of men’s profiles say that they’re looking for long term and it’s not that they are lying, it’s that they may think they are or they may hope they are… but it’s OUR job as smart daters to distinguish if that’s ACTUALLY the case and if they will meet our needs). I teach you how to tell them apart in my 90 day 1-1 intensive.
See, she’s a gorgeous blonde, feminine woman who is kind, loving, brave, educated, successful, and fit.
Normally, she would have jumped in on the awkward moments to save both of them from awkwardness.
She would have stayed on the phone too long waiting for a connection (waiting for chemistry flow/polarity) and she may even have suggested meeting at the awkward end.
But if she did that, she’d be left unmet, insecure and unsure of where he stands because she’d be working for HIM, not having him work for HER.
His profile presented masculine, family-oriented, high quality but within the first phone call he told her everything she needed to know.
He actually WASN’T…………NEXT!
(A few dates later, she met her guy and she’s married to him and they just had a son!)
Why am I harping on this? Because these are the men women stick with and then get to the wrong destination feeling cheated and taken advantage of and I am sick of it!
To get this point accross, allow me this……
Now – imagine what would have happened if she didn’t cut this off at the bud, and went on with her usual behaviors (like MOST women do!) of not leaving space for him to show himself, not deeply listening but focusing on impressing or connecting, and closing the gap when things got awkward? This is what MOST WOMEN DO!
She would have most likely gone out with him…..
And because he looks SOOO “good on paper,” she might have gone out with him a second and third time.
But he will never live up to what you thought you read in his profile.
The 3 Ls: A Blueprint for Empowered Dating
And now it’s 3 months later, you’re sleeping together and you’ve become biochemically bonded to him through oxytocin.
Your body thinks you’re married and it’s even harder to see that he’s making you do all the work because he’s not invested.
See, you could have averted all of this on the first phone call by practicing the 3 Ls above.
My dating method is set up to help you detect this ONE thing first: Is he a masculine man ready to invest in a healthy relationship with a feminine woman?
Because if you don’t have that, NOTHING else matters!
Send me a pm if you want the RIGHT GUY ASAP; I teach you how to attract him easy peasy in my 1-1 90 day intensive.
In that private, one-one container, we work on efficient, effective and intentional dating, healing and clearing blocks to true reciprocal love and learning to understand men and partner in a sustainable and fulfilling partnership for long-term lasting love.
My clients meet their match in an average of 3-6 months at a rate of 1-2 dates per week. But many of them meet their dream guy MUCH sooner because of the powerful, discerning dating skills I teach you.
If you’re a successful conscious woman ready for a real powerful partnership with a masculine man who’s got your back, I’d love to help you attract him in 2023! My method works quickly and effectively.
Just send me a DM and ask me about the intensive. I will respond back with a few questions to see if we’re a fit and if so, we can get started right away.