If you want a long-term dating relationship with a masculine man, absolutely do not go after men that are a “10/10” on your attraction scale.
This will turn you into a pretzel (Alison Armstrong says this – isn’t it right on???), twisting and turning yourself into whatever you think he may want – and you will NOT be your real self.
You will Pretzel and People-Please until the cows come home.
That’s the best recipe for disaster I ever saw.
Chemistry and instinct will take over and crowd out any room there may be for a spiritual connection and for sacred partnership.
The Illusion of the ’10/10′: Why Surface Attraction Isn’t Everything in Dating
You will want his hands all over you. Or it might not be that visceral. It will just feel like there’s something about that man you need to GET, you have to HAVE.
And if you do sleep with him due to that incredible attraction, you will bond with him and you’ll be bonded blindly LOL – you won’t know if he’s masculine, healthy, or ready, you will just know he’s HOT.
NOT good, because long term this recipe is NOT HOT.
“Blindly Bonded” is NOT HOT at all. LOL
Also….It is far more important for a man to see you for who you truly are than for who YOU think he may like.
Because you don’t want to live the rest of your life contorting, do you?
Profiles vs. People: The Pitfalls of Online Dating Perceptions
Contorting will never ever ever meet any of his needs and especially will not meet your needs.
In case it’s still not clear – this kind of relationship is not reciprocal, fulfilling or sustainable and often ends in heartbreak and drama.
I see women do this all the time in the online dating world as well.
You respond to the profiles that have good photos or where the men look good “on paper.”
If they don’t reply, suddenly there are no good men online, you think. NOT HELPFUL.
But as I’ve said many times before, a profile does not a healthy masculine man make.
Don’t pick him based on his photo or profile.
The Power of Genuine Affection: From First Impressions to Lasting Bonds
Respond to the men that message you even if they’re wearing sunglasses or they look weird.
Why? Why should I respond to someone I am not attracted to, many of you ask me.
Because it’s a PROFILE, not a PERSON.
You’re assuming that the profile represents the real person, which is NOT the case.
What I mean by this is that a perfectly good man might not be a dating expert LOL.
His profile might SUCK.
His photo might SUCK.
This actually does NOT mean that he sucks.
No it does not, because he’s not a dating expert. And that’s GOOD.
My husband’s photo – when he responded to my dating ad 13 years ago – was him in his dirt biking gear LOLOLOL.
Had I decided that it was a shitty photo and I wasn’t going to meet him I wouldn’t be with my sacred partner today.
So don’t screen based on the profile even though that seems like the perfectly reasonable thing to do.
You CAN screen based on GUT. If someone feels icky or extremely off, TRUST that.
But don’t screen out based on profile. LOL
Gut. Not profile, OK?
And for Goodness’ sake DO NOT go after your 10, you will be sorely disappointed and then come to me crying that there are no good men left and all the men you meet are ugly.
Women go and CHASE 10s on dating sites and wait to get messages back from PROFILES. This is a WASTE of time and energy, ladies and I have honestly NEVER seen it lead to love.
So run away from this approach and from any 10/10 – in person or online.
What’s really cool about running away from your 10 is that when you meet a 7 or 8, you can be YOURSELF.
You can be in, but not ALL the way pretzeled IN, and so you’ve got room to evaluate the landscape with the most important questions:
Is he masculine?
Is he healthy?
Is he ready?
If he’s a 10, those considerations go out the window AND your body goes gaga over a man you don’t even know.
Be wise and don’t jump on the bandwagon of Blindly Bonding. LOL
Because that man you met that’s a 6 or 7 or 8, that you meet a few more times, will get to meet YOU.
The real you.
The funny, quirky, special, kind, sweet generous you.
You will get to know him as yourself and not as the pretzel you will be trying to be if he’s a 10.
And after a few dates, when you hold hands, share a hug or even a kiss, there will be AFFECTION.
AFFECTION is different from ATTRACTION.
AND you NEED IT for long term love.
Attraction doesn’t LAST. Affection does.
But what’s cool about AFFECTION is that it can bloom into ATTRACTION by all the RIGHT THINGS.
In other words, you will hold hands, kiss and this will produce oxytocin, bonding you to a man that’s
Because you’ll have retained your brain power enough to SCREEN him, and use my method.
You will be Wisely Bonded, not Blindly Bonded!
AND THEN the oxytocin will make him a 10!!!!!
Isn’t that amazing!?
The RIGHT man will be a 10! You will feel safe, you will share affection and now he’s hot too?
How’d you do that, Emilia?
Oh wait, but there’s more……He will be a 10 forever after that.
Please just listen to me, this is one of the biggest mistakes I see women making ALL THE TIME that completely ruin their romantic lives.
I am so sick of this. It’s just getting so old, and I am so tired of it!
And if you want my help, My Everything Dating Group rogram starts next week! In this program we cover this and more over 8 weeks!
Send me a DM and ask me about it! I will respond with a few questions to see if it’s a fit and if so, you can jump right in!
My clients meet their match in an average of 3-6 months at a rate of 1-2 dates per week. But MOST of my clients meet their match within the first 5 introductions. Yes, my stuff works THAT good!