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A Healthy Relationship, Getting Hurt is Rare, Immediately Handled and Quickly Forgiven

No, love doesn’t hurt in a healthy relationship.

Love only hurts and there is always disappointment, loss and grief when you’re in an unhealthy relationship or family system.

That was how I was raised in my family of origin. Love always came with pain. Later I learned that pain was actually a pretty good indicator of abuse.

It went something like……

If I was hurt in my relationship with my parents (and every other relationship until I re-wrote the blueprint and broke the cycle), it was almost always my fault.

It was like, “What’s wrong with you, that you’re hurt? You’re too sensitive. I am an imperfect human you have to be more forgiving.”

If I caused harm (aka was an imperfect human being), it was not forgiven, though, LOL – or not.

It was used as a way to compensate against the supposed wrongs I did. As in, “You hurt me and now that I hurt you (because I am an imperfect human being but also because I now have the RIGHT to hurt you, since you hurt me, LOL – not), we’re even and you can stew in that and see how it feels. LOL – or not.”

If I had emotional needs, I was not allowed to ask. I didn’t know HOW to ask. No one in my family asked for this.

It was also considered preposterous that I didn’t have enough of what I needed when there was food on the table and a roof over my head, you ungrateful and spoiled child.

My hurts were not addressed because no one ever apologized or took responsibility for making a mistake or a shortsighted decision that affected me badly.

Even more maddening, there was much confusion about how to get my emotional needs met. There were things that were acceptable to be hurt about and things that it was not acceptable to be hurt about, LOL. Or not.

It was acceptable to be hurt if someone stepped on your toe or bumped into you in the kitchen. You got a sorry then.

But it was NOT acceptable to be hurt about how someone spoke to you or disrespected you and it was absolutely arrogant to request to be treated with respect.

That was ungrateful and spoiled, to need respect. To feel that you deserved respect.

You were entitled if you thought respect was something owed to you.

Love? What is that? No one owes you love.

You pay us, we don’t pay you.

You’re our child and we deserve you to pay us respect but we don’t pay any respect to you because we’re the parents.

Yes we are entitled to your time, attention and ears even if you’re busy, have other interests or don’t wish to speak.

Yes this is inverted energy flow in that the child is caretaking the parent instead of vice versa with the parent tending to the child.

And this inverted energy flow subconsciously sets up our blueprint and understanding of love.

And further, the parent is often self-centered or immature and easily willing to meet their needs at the child’s EXPENSE, without accountability or remorse.

This is my definition of narcissistic abuse. It’s a vampiric way of living. You’re taking from others, because there’s no connection to Source.

This is what I call the love blueprint. We will recreate ALL our relationships according to this pattern, until we consciously re-write it. Rewriting this pattern is the deep sacred work we do in my 90 day 1-1 intensive and if you’ve read this far, it might be for you!

When I first met my husband 14 yrs ago, he led by admitting his mistakes and sharing his vulnerabilities. I was completely in awe and full of (still to this day!) admiration and respect.

Even though I wasn’t yet in a place where I felt confident I could be courageous and vulnerable, I had healed enough to SEE, like they see in Avatar, the tremendous COURAGE that he had, to love.

I knew enough that at the very least he was NOT doing the sucking my energy pattern where I was expected to sacrifice myself.

And I was right because we’re still happy together 14 yrs later and I am so grateful for him and for God’s work in my life so that I could SEE him and choose him!

I was ready to transform the pattern and rewrite the blueprint.

I was DONE with it.

And running energy differently in my body felt so weird at first.

This is normal for every client.

There is a wobbly period of adjusting to the new energy configuration of how the energy flows from masculine to feminine and back.

That’s why dating healthy masculine men is SOOO important as part of the journey of choosing one – because you get opportunities to PRACTISE the new energy pattern and then to live into it with your chosen guy.

This pattern does not mean PERFECTION. We’re still human.

But getting hurt in an UNhealthy relationship is constant and remains unaddressed.

Getting hurt in a healthy relationship usually leads to more intimacy as it’s rare, accidental, immediately attended to, and easily and quickly forgiven.

Because in a healthy relationship, we’re connected to Source. We don’t need to suck another’s energy and we don’t need to be sacrificed to another like we were in childhood. Because God showed us HOW to do this and the humility loving this way takes.

With my parents, is was not possible to address hurts because there would be no accountability and it went in spirals.

This love blueprint exists in every single woman I work with.

It’s not always the same blueprint exactly but the EFFECTS or RESULTS of the blueprint are the same in the expression of the eenrgy flow.

She attracts men who don’t provide, don’t take care of her and are either unhealthy masculine (controlling, disempowering, demeaning) or narcissists (needing her to constantly sacrifice her power) or both.

I have clients in their 20s rewriting this pattern and I have clients in their 70s rewriting this pattern.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, you can rewrite the pattern with your free creative will.

The sooner the better, because why keep suffering? Especially if you want kids and you’re a feminine leader, you know that you’re made for such a time as this to break this generational cycle.

If you resonate with this, then I am here to help you transform this painful reality into pleasure, ease and flow with the masculine, so that you can attract your dream man and get engaged (or whatever a sacred sacrament looks like for you) in apx 12 months.

If you’re ready for this, just send me a DM. We will have a quick chat over messenger and zoom if desired and if we feel the synergy, we can get started right away.

I look forward to meeting you!

Love, Emilia

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