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Can You Know If He’s Not The One After One Date?

Women often ask me something like, if we know that he’s not “the one,” after our first date, do we continue dating him?

The answer is YES, we continue meeting him! This is for 3 main reasons.

One, a first date is sometimes awkward (he’s not a dating expert nor you) and sometimes easy.

However, this isn’t necessarily an indication of if this is your person or not, because you could have been nervous (and more in your masculine energy), he could have been nervous, it could have been a crappy venue that messed with the vibe, it could have been a stressful day, etc etc.

I feel that there should always be a second date, if the first date was “fine.”

And the criteria for “fine” isn’t what Disney and romance movies and novels tell us.

It’s not sparks, it’s not trumpets, it’s not butterflies.

These, in my experience are often NOT a good sign.

It’s not love “at first sight.”

In hindsight, it seems that way, but not when you’re at the start of the journey.

It’s fine – as in you wouldn’t mind seeing him again but yes, you can absolutely live without him at this point, LOL.

Two, I like to say that if we felt neutral and didn’t get heebee jeebies in any way and there is an attraction level of 5 or more, to see him again. I call this neutral.

My first date with my husband was neutral. I had learned at that point to stay open to what develops, thank GOD!!

If I had dated the way I dated before that – where I would just decide a man wasn’t “it” after one interaction or a weird profile photo or if there were no immediate sparks – I would have never gone with him on a second date.

And I wouldn’t be with my soulmate (well the Universe would probably find another way to connect us because I feel he is my soulmate, LOL, but I wouldn’t have made God’s job easy, LOL!)
He was on the quiet side, it was the first time I saw his face because on his messages he was in dirt bike gear LOL and things were a little awkward as we ate our dinner.

I just did my 3Ls: Leaned back, listened to learn and left space.

Our second date was also neutral but it ended as neutral + 1 LOL. I liked him a little more than I was neutral to him.

Our third date ended as neutral +2 LOL. I liked him a little more!

And then on our 4th or 5th date he asked to kiss me and I was like, “okay.” And then we kissed again. And again. And just held our kiss for a looooong time. A doorway opened then.

Sparks still didn’t fully fly until our date after that. That date (date 5 or 6, possibly 7) was when the energy flowed so strongly in my body and heart that I was IN!

And when I say listen to learn, I don’t just mean with your ears.
Listen with your body, listen with your heart, listen with your energetic being, listen to YOUR OWN being with the same ears.

How do YOU FEEL?

When we show up this way, where we may have not been all the way DEEP into the listening on the first date, but over time (3 to 5 dates) we get a good SENSE of this man. A first date is a good start. But I don’t think it’s quite enough of the kind of SENSE I am speaking into here.

The third really important point I’ve observed with myself and my clients over the years, is that the woman we are when we MEET A MAN isn’t the same woman that’s in sacred union with HER MAN.

Why? Because if you were the “you” that’s in a sacred union, you would have already created that timeline/reality and be in a sacred union, instead of single and dating for it (but yay, this is where it starts!).

You grow from the first to the second date, from the second to the 3rd. Especially of you’re here and on this intentional sacred dating journey with me.

When I say an attraction level of 5 or more, I am not talking about how hot he is. I am also not talking about his life circumstances such as where he lives, where he works or what kind of car he drives. Circumstances change in someone’s life.

This is more like, what level of attraction do you FEEL for him? Rate your FEELING of attraction 0 to 10 with 0 representing that there is no/zero attraction (0 is not disgust, that would be negative) and 10 representing that he’s your “type” in every single way.

This FEELING of attraction has to do with everything about him; his voice, his posture, his demeanor, the energy flow, the way he carries himself and most importantly how you FEEL in his presence.
There is more to listen for and more becomes available to be heard and seen with a few more dates.

You WILL know. And it won’t be a TON of dates, maybe 3-5. But it’s rare that this happens on a first date. You WILL know.

Love, Emilia

PS: There’s also practicing sacred masculine/feminine energetics, being in your “feminine” and feeling into what that’s really like.

We’re also learning about men with each and every date.

This prepares you for sacred union with a man. So that’s ANOTHER series of reasons we want to keep dating – to practice the above.

There’s also more that comes in the dating journey such as practicing speaking our desires, needs and comfort, learning about how masculine men think, operate and what they need from women and practicing the co-creation aspect of a sacred relationship partnership.

These are more on the “practical why” to go on more than 1 date, but still very important lessons that prepare us for success in sacred union.

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