Dating is a battlefield for almost every woman, so you’re not alone if you’re wondering why it’s so hard.
But it’s not because dating online and offline doesn’t work.
It’s not because something is wrong with you.
And it’s not because all the good men are taken.
It’s because you just need to understand a few things you’re missing about dating.
I am not going to sit here and tell you it’s simple to date or that it’s easy because if you’re doing it like most women do it, it’s probably awful.
But there IS a shortcut and I HAVE IT!!!!!!
The Dating Battlefield: Missteps and Self-Betrayal
There are so many ways that women show up in the dating world that don’t work for them and I have encountered many versions and flavors of the issues that occur.
Women betray themselves by saying yes when they mean no and they hate that they do that but they don’t know how to stop it.
They hate that they betray themselves going on dates or continuing with a date that isn’t fun.
Then they shame themselves for betraying themselves.
Then they start “shouldding” themselves and tell themselves if they just keep going it will eventually work out. Or they give up all together and wait for Mr. Right to show up at her local coffee shop with flowers.
I totally get this personally because I’ve been there and professionally because I help women through this quagmire every single day.
Personal Struggles: Connecting the Dots Between Dating and Eating Battles
And I also struggle with my OWN version of the battlefield, just in a different area.
That’s kind of the way I am with myself about eating and that’s why I have weight problems.
I tell myself not to overeat. I brace myself because I know I am gonna tell myself that and I hate myself for telling myself that because it’s what my dad used to tell me when we’d sit down for family meals.
I tell myself what food is healthy and what isn’t healthy. I tell myself that I should eat more or less of this or that. I tell myself I should chew more. I tell myself to be careful and stop when I am full.
It’s a battleground of voices and energies and to JUST EAT is a miracle! Can you relate?
My coach is teaching me to look for ques of hunger, satisfaction, and fullness.
Until age 45 I didn’t even know that’s part of eating.
Eating seems so normal and natural for some women and they don’t struggle with their weight….but…
Eating was a battlefield for me. Maybe the way dating used to be a battlefield for me and might still be for you.
I wanted to eat. I hated myself for wanting and needing to eat and for how much I ate. I hated myself for restricting myself and I rebelled and told myself that I am just going to eat.
I see this same kind of crazy making happening for a lot of women in the dating journey.
And it’s not because you’re crazy. Or something’s wrong with you.
And no it doesn’t help to tell yourself you’re age 40 or 60 and what have you done about it, nothing you’re gonna be alone forever.
I started at the very least telling myself that yes, I am overweight now and yes, my behaviors with food don’t always honor myself or my body and yes I do betray myself when it comes to food. But what if it’s not forever?
And it happens sooooooooo unconsciously.
Like today I got a massage and as I walked home I needed wifi to call my hubby to pick me up so I rounded the corner into a coffee shop.
Then I told myself I SHOULD order something if I was there, I can’t just ask for the wifi password.
I forgot to ask my body.
I ordered a cappuccino.
I sat down to drink it and I still forgot to check in with my body if she actually WANTED the cappuccino.
I told myself it would help my headache.
I noticed I was hungry but I told myself oh well.
My hubby got there and ordered a latte.
We had a nice date. We chatted and drank our coffees.
Then we walked to the car and I noticed I was feeling nauseous, faint and weak. It was after 2 pm and all I had all day was 2 coffees.
When we got home I was feeling exhausted, starving, sensitive to noise and light, and extremely hot. I felt like a migraine was coming on.
I ate lunch.
As I got in bed and put ice over my head and cooled down and calmed down I could feel the caffeine doing what caffeine does…I had some jitters. I usually only have 1 cup of coffee a day.
Today I had 2 cups and without any food.
As I surrendered to my exhaustion and sense of failure I used something my coach Natasha taught me. I told my body that we are safe. We are safe feeling overwhelmed and we are safe feeling exhausted and we are safe needing to rest.
And because I FINALLY talked to my body she let me know that she actually never wanted that coffee to begin with.
This was news to me. I hadn’t even asked her!
I told her I am so sorry for making you have coffee and I didn’t ask you. She forgave me and we went to sleep.
Transforming Your Dating Experience: From Struggle to Celebration
But can you see the battlefield?
I see this same exact battlefield in the dating life of many of my clients.
And step by step we work through the deep healing and integrating of her human animal and human spirit so that she can make conscious choices.
I call that using your creative power.
And then the dating journey stops being a battlefield and starts being a place of inspiration, curiosity, discovery, joy and play.
You stop dreading dating and start loving the journey because with my help you’re listening to your self, unpacking the disempowering things you’re unconsciously telling yourself and forgiving yourself for betrayals when they happen rather than shaming yourself and giving up.
We go easy. We go slow.
We do not fake or force. We integrate and celebrate instead.
You go on 1 to 2 dates a week with the men I select using my proven filtering strategy that sorts for masculine men that are healthy and ready for a relationship.
I can help you turn your dating life from a battlefield to a playground and give you the proven process to meet your guy in apx 5 to 10 introductions.
The deep healing and dating profile handling I can help with in my 90 day 1-1 intensive where we also integrate masculine and feminine energetics and understanding men and the masculine so that you can create a sacred union. I invite you to send me a DM if you want my help with that!
The dating part I can SHOW you and hold your hand as you implement in my upcoming Everything Dating program starting on October 12th.
It’s an 8 week program and it’s 888USD or 3 x 333 and it’s Thursdays at 10 am PST.
It is where I teach you my 3 step process for selecting high quality masculine men that are ready for a relationship.
Those are the men you will go on dates with and report back. GAMECHANGER.
You get unlimited messenger/voxer/whatsapp support 1-1 privately with me, 8 recorded group calls where I will guide you as you implement my method and a community of women to share the journey with.
You will be meeting men that are very different from the kind of men you’re probably currently meeting if you’re dating online because you’re probably dating the way most women date.
The way most women date leads to connecting with the wrong men, wasting time and energy slogging through profiles, feeling like you have to be a “textertainer” to get asked on a date and a whole series of extremely uncomfortable and unnecessary things!
Say no more and send me a DM about either of my containers and we will have a quick chat over messenger to see if we’re a fit and if so, we can get started right away.
My dating program covers:
-how to use online dating platforms to meet 1-2 high quality masculine men a week
-how to tell if a man is high quality (and no, you can’t tell from the profile)
-how to spend the least amount of energy on texts, phone calls and dates (about 20 mins a few days a week MAX!)
-how to stay out of the dating battlefield
-how to have a TON of fun and meet your guy in apx 5-10 introductions
Yes I help you create and put up your profile and yes I help with photos, what to wear and how to conduct phone calls!
Looking forward to connecting with you!
Emilia