Sometimes, in the realm of partnership, healthy masculine men ARE leading, but their approach may not align with common perceptions shaped by terms used in the polarity space, like “dominant.”
Other than being a BDSM play role, I don’t know why anyone would want a dominant life partner.
The word dominant per Mariam Webster, literally means:
a: commanding, controlling, or prevailing over all others
b: very important, powerful, or successful
c: overlooking and commanding from a superior position
That doesn’t appeal to me AT ALL.
And doesn’t it also take back the feminist movement and its positive reasons for existing back about 1000 years LOL?
I don’t know about you but I want a PARTNERSHIP.
The Difference Between Dominance and Healthy Masculinity
I don’t need or want nor is there any place in my being that craves to be commanded or controlled by someone in a superior position.
Not in my marriage.
Not in my work.
Not in my service.
There is literally NO WHERE in my life where to me it makes sense to want a dominant partner.
I want and have and LOOVE having a MASCULINE PARTNER.
But the masculine and feminine are more like complements – 5D…..
Rather than a hierarchy – 3D.
So..let me tell you what this looks like when dating.
The guy asks, “where do you want to go?”
And you’ve used my dating method for selecting masculine, healthy and ready men, then…..
No he’s not putting the ball in your court and no he’s not being submissive and asking you to lead.
NO, NO, NO!
He is ASKING you what YOU desire so he can PROVIDE it.
If you’re having a hard time believing me, I challenge you to see what happens if you HEAR it that way. Report back 🙂
He’s LEADING in SERVICE and with PROVISION.
He wants to know what will make you happy.
Women want men to “lead” and say stuff like, “we are doing a b c at this time and at such and such a place.”
Ok that does give a little surge of excitement but is it really gonna be great when he says you’re giving birth at such and such a hospital and no you can’t have an epidural and no your sister can’t be there?
Those are the same ENERGY.
Don’t mistake it for leadership when it’s CONTROL.
Understanding Partnership: Shifting from Hierarchy to Collaboration
See how one perspective where it looks like he’s asking you to lead perceives a hierarchy and the other perspective where it looks like he’s just trying to take care of you, comes from a partnership and collaborative space?
How do YOU want to live? I pick the latter. And I pick 5D.
Do you want to CO-CREATE a PARTNERSHIP?
Then for LOVE’s sake TELL the man WHERE you DESIRE to go.
Here are some examples:
“I’d love a cup of coffee at the Starbucks on the Pier.”
“I’d love dinner at an Italian place like the one on Front Street.”
“I’d love an afternoon walk in Central Park on the Weekend.”
Then just be quiet and let him do with that what a healthy masculine man will do.
I promise you will LIKE it if you’re honest with him about what you desire.
Watch and report. 🙂
Extraordinary relationships don’t happen by accident, I am sorry.
They require intention, wisdom, emotional intelligence, an understanding of men and a willingness to lead YOURSELF in them and be accountable for what you’re leading with in the co-creation.
Healthy masculine men RESPOND to women.
So if you’re out there dating and you think a healthy masculine man means that he’s going to dominate, you’re not going to meet a healthy masculine man.
Only unhealthy men control.
Dictators are not leaders.
In my experience the men who dominate are not healthy masculine.
They are fronting.
They are focused on control and not on service.
They are focused on being better than you and not on supporting you so you can be your best.
They are focused on “looking large and in charge” when actually they’re not leading, serving or providing.
This is NOT a healthy masculine man. This is a Dictator.
That’s what the word dominant man means to me. It means dictator.
Now I know some women WANT to play in the energy of DOM and SUB and this is NOT what I am talking about here as I am not referring to dating in the context of BDSM.
Because if that’s what you want, to be dominated in the BDSM sense, then just ask for that in your dating profile, or community or wherever it is your source your introductions from.
I am talking about healthy feminine and masculine energetics.
The Dance of Energetics: How Feminine Invites and Masculine Provides
The feminine invites, gives quality information. She’s not just being dragged along in the dance. LOL.
The masculine WANTs to and DOES generate (lead) but a healthy masculine man doesn’t want to lead for control, he wants to lead for provision.
Help him do that for YOU. Give him quality information about how to lead to make you happy.
Following this ONE tip of shifting your interactions with men from hierarchy to partnership.
That’s why it’s great to have an expert on your side who has been there. 😊
If you’re a single woman currently dating and you’re finding yourself never feeling like you’re a PART of something with men, this might be your one tweak that could change everything for you.
In that 1-1 private container I give you a proven strategy for attracting a ton of commitment-minded, high-quality men, consciously and authentically.
We get you dating men ready to invest in a feminine woman like you and we work on manifesting sacred partnership love and marriage (my average is within 3 to 6 months).