If you genuinely understand this ONE Key that I am about to spell out for you, you will have the power to select the RIGHT man for you and create true lasting love for LIFE. Many single spiritual women don’t know this secret and I teach it over and over in my coaching programs.
No you shouldn’t lower your standards. But do consider if your “standards” are personal qualities you desire in a man (qualities desired in a man are not things I recommend changing) or if your “standards” are mere circumstances you desire (which I do recommend re-considering).
That’s because qualities are personality characteristics and soul-level traits of a man that are most likely not going to change over the course of his life.
Qualities will stay constant. Circumstances do and will change.
This is like the saying, “a leopard does not change its spots,” LOL – because spots are inherent to the leopard.
And this is great news because when focusing on a man’s qualities, you do have a secure foundation for lasting love.
The Difference Between Circumstances and Qualities When it Comes to Lasting Love
Circumstances are temporary and fleeting.
These are current conditions, surroundings and contexts that WILL and DO change.
If your standards for a mate include these circumstances, you will be setting yourself up for longterm failure in love. Many, many women make this mistake. You can literally save yourself years of heartache and maybe a divorce or two if you apply to my advice.
If you choose your man based on circumstances, you won’t be basing your choice of mate on a foundation for lasting love.
You will be building your house on sand.
The other thing to consider when it comes to circumstances is the confusion around “standards.”
If your “standards” are the qulities you desire, that will set you up for healthy lasting love.
If your “standards” are the circumstances you desire, what happens when they change? Your relationship could be over.
Consider the external disempowering voices that abound with messages about the standards that you “should” require and if they align with your inner voice around the qualities you know in your heart you desire.
An example of this is when you desire an abundance of money. You may be attracted to a man because he makes a lot of money (circumstance) which is good but what if he’s making a lot of money because he’s a workaholic and will never be present at home should you marry and have kids (quality)?
The abundance of money is a circumstance, the “working too much and not being present” part is a quality. Be willing to accept both or you might decide that even though you like money, what’s more important to you is the quality of a man being present and availale to spend time with his family. This can actually be much more valuable than money over the long term.
Many mainstream messages about romantic relationships encourage a superficial and materialistic focus on the circumstances in a person’s life, and not his inherent qualities.
It is up to you, as a spiritual feminine woman who wants a lasting and loving marriage, to be WISE. Take the time to think about which “standards” are qualities YOU decide you desire in a partner and which “standards” are circumstances that society tells women they should want and value but don’t actually create a happy life or love.
In other words, the world tells us to look for circumstances and we buy it.
Many of the ways of being and thinking in our culture and society prioritize circumstances as determining the success of a relationship but those are not the things that govern your foundation for sustainable fulfilling love thast lasts.
What we are told is true about love that lasts isn’t actually what makes lasting love last.
When I talk about slasting love in the context of a acred union, I am talking about the wisdom to select a partner based on the qualities of the person and not the circumstances in his life at the time you meet.
You won’t create a sacred union over circumstances because these are superficial and fleeting but you CAN create a sacred union on a secure foundation of valuable qualities that will support you in creating the life and relationship of your dreams.
This is not something that is commonly taught. There are few models of sacred union around.
You may not have seen it in your family of origin or in those around you.
Then you’ve never had a model of healthy lasting love.
But that doesn’t mean the blueprint isn’t there. The divine design isn’t the world’s voices, it’s in your inner voice.
Discovering the Blueprint of Sacred Union
I believe that we hold within our soul, the blueprint of sacred union between divine feminine and divine masculine.
It’s time to channel that from within and make the blueprint a physical reality by really using our spiritual eyes to SEE whether the thing that attracts us to someone is a circumstance or a quality.
The tantric bond between male and female polarity is an extraordinary cosmic creative force that is your birthright. But that bond doesn’t form or last based on circumstances for long.
It does take time, in our current society and culture, to strip away all the falsehoods about love and sift through to its spiritual essence and the qualities required to co-create that with a partner.
Beyond the Material to the Spiritual
For example, if you look up tantra, the first thing you see is, positions, positions, positions.
And you probably already know that tantra or sacred union expressed in life and in sex has almost nothing to do with sex positions. It’s not about a position. It’s about a quality.
As an empath, teacher, leader, visionary leader or entrepreneur, you’re more powerful when you get to reside in your feminine energy with the supernatural nourishment that comes from sacred union with your masculine counterpart.
I truly believe this is what God, the Universe and Cosmos intends for each of us in our relationships.
The dark kabal tries to cheapen the tantric bond by having you focus on circumstances such as positions, appearance, performance, perfume, clothes, status, money, consumerism, and materialistic things instead of the spiritual essence quality that is there in a man.
Why might that be, anyone?
What you can do to counteract this, is really truly learn to start looking for qualities and not circumstances.
This will help you really SEE the masculine (in both men and women) but especially in healthy masculine men.
- Circumstances are fleeting and not the thing to focus on when you’re seeking real love.
- Qualities are forever and if you marry based on these, it’s unlikely you’ll separate.
Circumstances are things that are fairly fleeting such as where he works, what he does for a living, what he wears, how much money he makes, his appearance, his health, his success, his fitness level, what kind of car he drives, what university he graduated from, etc. These have nothing to do with the success of a sacred partnership in the long term.
Qualities are things that you must look beneath the surface to find. Qualities are attributes such as kindness, generosity, tenderness, support, authenticity, enthusiasm, efficiency, presence, resilience, patience, wisdom, trustworthiness, contentment, drive, balance, spontaneity, depth, willingness, acceptance, respect of the feminine, integrity, work ethic, sincerity, follow-through, willingness to not take himself too seriously (humor), creativity/playfulness, honor, intellect, flexibility, capacity for compassion and understanding, courage, sense of adventure, sense of responsibility, discernment, intentionality, ability to communicate, openness, etc….these rarely change over time and are the things to build your sacred union on.
So no, you should not lower your standards, but please DO re-consider your standards from the framework presented here.
Circumstances fade but Qualities always remain.
Your power to create lasting love comes from aligning yourself with your inner truth and not with the general consensus.
Decide on 3-5 qualities that would be incredible to have in a partner. And when you’re dating look for those things as evidence for a successful foundation for lasting love.
Mine were kindness, a belief/relationship with God, masculine, work ethic and humor.
And I get to revel in these qualities every day in my marriage, I give thanks to God.
In that program we work on clearing out the world’s messaging around what’s possible between real life men and women when it comes to love.
We work on opening your sacred feminine heart and leading with it when you date but with powerful boundaries that keep you safe and connecting with healthy masculine men who want to protect that.
You will immediately start to attract healthy masculine men through a profoundly simple but effective dating strategy I teach.
Then we work on healing the barriers of self-protection erected around your heart you might not even know are there (because of living in the world we live in and taking part in all the pain we’ve had) through releasing, forgiveness and compassion and we work on powerful partnering skills that allow you to create a healthy, hot sacred partnership with the man with your dreams.
My clients meet their match in an average of 3 months at a rate of 1-2 dates a week or in as few as 5-10 dates.
That means if you’re wishing for love in 2024 you STILL really truly can manifest it!
Just send me a PM and we will have a quick chat over messenger to see if my 1-1 program is a fit to help you on your way.