Why is it so hard to find a suitable partner on dating sites? Because women don’t know how to use them. Sorry!
Dating apps are a great place for introductions, but many women don’t treat them that way and don’t have the skills to make the dating apps work for them.
Decoding Men’s Intentions on Dating Apps
A very common problem women bring to me when they are dating online is this: Why do men keep messaging but never ask for my number on the APPS? And WTF do men keep texting and never call?
There are only 2 reasons for this.
One, he’s looking for a sexting buddy.
You can tell if he’s looking for a sexting buddy if he comments how hot you look, or he asks for more photos even though you have like 5 in your profile and any thing that has to do with kissing emojis or words like “lover” and “bae.”
If he says and does stuff like that and you haven’t even met him yet, then he’s not looking for anything serious.
If you’re looking for a long term committed relationship then you can just ignore these guys or use their messages to learn about men. LOL
The second reason is, he’d call you but he wants to avoid rejection, calling at an inconvenient time or somehow making you uncomfortable or putting you on the spot.
I am going to address the second in this post, since I am assuming you’re looking for a high quality masculine man for a long term relationship.
Healthy masculine men respond to women.
That’s because healthy masculine men never want to make a woman feel uncomfortable.
They consider it their honor to protect and provide for women but they want to do it in a way that doesn’t dis-empower or disrespect us.
YES, it’s TRUE!!!!
So if we don’t precisely invite them to call us, the back and forth might just fizzle out.
But if you make it easy for them to call, if they are serious, they will.
So here’s what I teach my clients to do in those cases.
If you’ve had a few messages on the dating app and you’re wondering where it’s going and he hasn’t said anything like, “can I have your number, or let’s video chat, or are you free to meet for coffee,” then I recommend you GIVE him your phone number.
But not by itself.
Go to his profile and read something about him that is unique, you relate to, you find interesting or you have in common.
Empowering Women: Taking Control of Online Dating
Then write a message like this to stop the dating app back and forth and take the conversation off the APP. (You want to take it off the APP ASAP because you want an introduction, not a pen-pal, right?)
This also has the double action of weeding out men that are not serious about finding a partner because the ones that are not serious will not call you or text you and will want to keep messing around on the app.
And you want to get OFF the app ASAP.
Here’s an example. Say in his profile he says he likes outdoor adventures.
Then you can say something like this, “Hey Mike thanks for your message, looks like we have some things in common like we both like outdoor adventures. I look forward to speaking with you. 252-548-5485, Andrea. :)”
This way you’re giving him an invitation to call you by using the word “speak,” as men are literal.
You’re also giving him a REASON why so it doesn’t seem to him like you’re just willy nilly handing your phone number out because you connected to something he wrote in his profile.
He feels like he earned a point.
IF that man is serious, he will call at those times or ask if he can call at a time that works for him.
If he’s not serious, or he didn’t get it, or he’s busy, or he’s married, he most likely won’t call. YAY!
He might keep texting though.
And this is where you can answer a few more texts and then say, “Hey thanks for your texts, I would feel more comfortable if we can speak moving forward. I hope you understand my feelings. I am free tonight 5-8 pm or tomorrow most of the morning.:)”
And if he doesn’t call then, you can just ignore his texts until he does call.
He will either stop texting or call.
And this is one that surprises women, a few weeks might go by and he might text out of the blue, “hi how are you, can you talk after 6 today?”
Navigating the Transition from App Messaging to Real Connections
And that might be because he was traveling for work or got busy.
So don’t worry if they don’t call right away. Most will, but not all.
And that’s why we never want to delete/block them but we do want to be very clear about the standards we have around how we want to communicate.
Healthy masculine men are SO RESPONSIVE when they know what is expected of them and what they are being invited (without control or coercion) to do!
Inviting without pressure, control or coercion is a priceless partnership skill to have because in a sacred partnership, you’re going to work best with a healthy masculine man if you’re able to provide the quality information he needs to be the man you need and desire, while allowing him to provide the result his way and in his time.
This in itself is a BIG partnership cornerstone.
This is just one reason why my dating method works for long term love.
I designed this dating method after 10 yrs of dating and it’s how I met my husband and it’s how my clients meet their boyfriends, finacees, live-in parnters and husbands.
If you’d like help dating WHILE learning sacred partnership skills and tools that will not only have you attracting a high quality masculine man as your partner but also give you the confidence, understanding and wisdom to sustain that partnership, then I invite you to send me a DM and ask me about my Soulmate Attractionf Formula Group Program starting this Thursday , March 30th.
In that program we work on dating smart, healing any patterns or wounds that keep you from staying empowered in love and understanding men and sacred union so you can create that for the rest of your life!
I look forward to your message if you know this is for you! Emilia 🙂