Today my client came in to work on healing from her divorce from her narcissistic X.
She was financially abused.
She was everyone’s garbage can.
She was forced to take on other people’s projections. Because she knew if she didn’t, there’d be hell to pay.
She got to carry the blame for anything and everything going wrong.
She was the loser, the outsider, the unfit parent.
Well guess what?
She had to go along with this.
BECAUSE SHE HAS 3 KIDS and her X husband was the only bread-winner.
Her children were yelling at her and she was still just swallowing it whole.
You will understand the emotional, financial, psychological and spiritual abuse I am describing if you’ve been with a narcissist.
She’s normally light and love but today we had to go to the Shadow.
We had to go deep in there..to reclaim something holy. Her rage.
She’s an empath, powerful healer and business woman.
And since we’ve been working together, she’s moved out, gotten a divorce and attracted Sacred Partnership with a man who gives her safety to love AND to be angry.
She’s owning the holy rage part of her anger.
She could feel a dark cold chord attached to the bottom of her spine.
It was the deep, dark, heavier-than-lead, dread-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach-shame that we all carry when we cause harm.
And when we’re courageous enough to face it, we can restore our freedom and power.
And we went there. We had to own it, without justifications.
She owned that she harmed herself by justifying her abusive X’s actions.
She owned that she harmed herself by buying into the belief that she wasn’t allowed to be angry.
If she was angry there were consequences, you see, she wasn’t allowed to be a person with needs, thoughts, opinions and feelings.
She was a non – person, just like we all are when we are in a relationship with a narcissist.
She owned that she didn’t teach or model healthy anger to her children.
She owned that she harmed herself by giving up her power in order to please and appease.
She owned giving up on trying because it was easier than fighting for her power.
But you see, in a sacred partnership, the partnership REQUIRES you to be in your power.
It’s a whole other level of union. It requires your sovereign, empowered, creative, free WILD self. Nothing less will do.
She forgave herself and she committed to not allowing any more disrespect.
She committed to saying NO to being someone’s garbage can.
She committed to allowing herself to be angry and trusting herself with her holy rage.
Passion and rage are two sides of the same coin.
If you you suppress the rage, you suppress the passion.
Until one day you realize you can’t love or let yourself be loved the way you profoundly long to…..because you’ve been suppressing your rage and in so doing also suppressing your passion.
She could see it but she couldn’t quite bring it home into her body.
Like how could she just be angry, what if she hurt someone?
And this is where we went into compassion in action.
Compassion that she had to sacrifice her wellbeing for her kids.
Compassion that she had to stifle her needs and feelings to keep the peace at home with her abusive protector and provider.
It reminded me of a client I spoke with once with a narcissistic husband.
Her plain day-to-day reality was that if she didn’t give her husband sex, he’d take his anger out on their young boys. She prostituted herself to protect her boys. Moms will do that.
And this is what a woman who is in a relationship with a narcissist is forced to do.
She is forced to choose between harming herself or harming her children.
And because we are honorable strong women, we protect our children. We harm ourselves instead. Of course we do.
But somewhere, somehow, we must heal from that harm, or we will never be free to love and be loved the way we long to.
We will keep trying to earn and deserve and compensate out of the harm we caused to ourselves or another and we will keep trying to earn being and feeling worthy of love.
But you can’t earn something you already are. You must all but claim and receive it. It’s a gift.
If you’ve been in a relationship like this and you’re ready for complete healing AND you’re wildly courageous enough to want true love in spite of it all – HELL YES to you!!!!!
And if you want help, then I am here and these are the depths we go to together in order to reclaim your freedom, confidence and power.
And as for the iron clamp on her spinal cord? We got it to a 2/10 intensity when we moved the emotional energy through forgiveness and compassion, assisted by essential oils for supporting emotional brain rewiring.
It was still there, but it turned into a light numbness. We then simply released it to a 0 using the Sedona Method.
It was gone!!! And my courageous beautiful sister client was back to her smiling ecstatic juicy feminine self, drinking her morning tea! (Brought to her majesty the Queen by her hot new love right to her desk as our session came to completion.)
YES!!! Healthy masculine men want us wild, healthy, whole and FREE!!!!!!
She shows up, she does the work, she gets the reward.
You can too and I am here to show you EXACTLY how and hold your hand step-by-step.
I’ve been there and I have helped many others walk to the other side. This is one of the many things we heal in my 90 day 1-1 private intensive.
In that program we also work on dating (if you haven’t yet met your sacred masculine partner) and understanding healthy and unhealthy men.
I teach you and you experience how to hold your power in a sacred union with a healthy masculine man, and how to live a powerful and creative life from a place of courage, freedom and joy.
Narcissistic abuse is a terrible, painful reality.
But it is also a sacred opportunity – to find your fine self and to recreate yourself to the original divine, sacred and wild woman blueprint that you always were – only better, stronger and even more alive.
If you’re a wild woman who wants an untamed life of miracles, love, passion and power then I’d like to invite you to send me a PM. I will respond with a few questions so we can determine if this is the container for you.