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How to pick the right guy

PSA to feminine high achievers who keep attracting the wrong men: You will never select the right man using your INTELLECT

You must use your FEELINGS. And the feelings live in the body, not the mind.


If you’re dating intellect first, you will pick men that IMPRESS you but not men that CHERISH you.

You may connect intellectually and that might initially turn you on but this connection won’t be sustainable long term.

For long-term fulfilling love, we need deep, embodied masculine/feminine energy FLOW.

Our soft vulnerable feminine side – that we educated ambitious intellectuals keep so tightly buttoned – will secretly long for a man that’s got our back. We will long for a man that meets us, a man that makes us feel safe and like we’re not alone in the world.

That polarity, that flow of energy between masculine and feminine will nourish your partnership for years to come.

It will be a safe space for both of you to return to, to feel loved, replenished and whole.

This is what is meant by sacred partnership, sacred marriage.

And you can’t discern if that’s there using your INTELLECT.

You must date with your feminine softness first, feeling into the energy dynamic you and this man create TOGETHER.

NOTE: You won’t feel safe dating in your feminine without really good boundaries, which is a separate post but this is GREATLY helped by the filtering method I teach here free

If you understand this ONE thing (how to select your man with your feminine FEELINGS and not your masculine INTELLECT) and actually apply it, you will have done the absolute MOSTEST when it comes to selecting the right long-term partner for you.

Meaning, show up in your feminine energy (take a bath, dance naked, read a book or whatever you need to do to get there, after your workday) and date with this inquiry, “do I have delicious-feeling energy FLOW with this man?”

Allow me to illustrate with this example:

A savvy, successful and independent woman is out on a date. How will she show up and “evaluate” her prospect?

If you’re dating with your intellect leading, you might initiate a mental/verbal/intellectual joust (the equivalent of challenging him to a duel – all in good “fun” of course).

Or you might hold an interview, interrogating with questions.

Makes sense. You want to know, who is the biggest and the baddest? Is it me or is it you? Prove to me that it’s you. (Because I desperately need to know, am I safe with you when my wild emotional feminine is unleashed?)

The problem is that with this approach, the winner is actually the loser. If you succeed, you lose (repel healthy masculine men) and if he succeeds, you lose (attract effeminate man or narcissist). LOL. not lol.

Healthy masculine men aren’t intimidated by your success. And they aren’t intimidated by your financial status or personal strength. It’s not that being powerful, successful or recognized in your field intimidates men. Nope.

It’s HOW some women ARE about it (interrogating, dueling) that turns healthy masculine men off and causes you to attract the wrong men again and again.

If you initiate a joust or interview, it will be incredibly unattractive to a healthy masculine man. He won’t sense what he needs most, which is your vulnerable, feminine energy.

Not only is this approach of interrogating and jousting a complete turnoff to healthy masculine men, but it also leaves you as a woman, disconnected from your core feminine self and unable to allow yourself to FEEL into a masculine/feminine dynamic with your body and emotions.

And all of this will just lead to more suckage because:

The only kind of man that would submit himself to such a dynamic is actually the kind of man that isn’t empowered in his masculinity and will never show up for you anyway.

And that’s the best-case scenario.

The worst-case scenario is that you will end up attracting a narcissist who will charm you but will meet his own needs at your expense without remorse.

The man who “wins” may “get the job,” but we don’t respect him or trust him. We don’t admire him, we’re constantly testing him. We don’t feel safe with him, we can’t relax and the feminine in us can’t surrender.

Our success outside of our relationship won’t have given us the tools and skills to make this relationship work and we’re literally on our way to relationship hell.

That’s because we didn’t choose him with our feminine, we chose him with our masculine. The dynamic that was created on the first date – the duel and the “show me what you got” energy – will continue through the relationship. And we’ll never be truly happy.

There won’t be peace and polarity flow that nourishes us.

So that’s why one of the tools I teach in my Engaged in 2023 Program is how to feel safe showing up in your feminine with healthy boundaries, how to nourish your feminine energy and how to date IN your body, FEELING for this fountain of forever.

If you’ve filtered through your prospects using my Right Guy method you’ll already be out on a date with a masculine man.

So even if he is not YOUR masculine man, you will feel nourished and enjoy your date because there will be energy flow due to POLARITY.

Isn’t that so much more fun than dueling or interrogating, LOL?

Yes, it’s so much better and so much easier, and for most women, such a huge RELIEF.

If you want help breaking the cycle of attracting the wrong men, then PM me and ask about Engaged 2023 (and yes, it’s for single women because I know I can have you engaged in 12 months or less even if you’re single now!)

In that program we work on healing the barriers of self-protection erected around your heart that might be keeping you stuck in “intellectual dating” through releasing, forgiveness and compassion healing sessions.

And we work on powerful partnering skills founded in my teachings of polarity, that allow you to create a healthy, HOT sacred partnership with an incredible man who loves you and shows up for you, no matter your status or success.

My clients meet their match in an average of 3 to 6 months and get engaged within apx 12 months. That means if you’re wishing for love in 2023, you can DO it with my help!

Love, Emilia

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