If you’re dating and feeling awkward, uncomfortable and doubting the process, it’s not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because dating is hard for most people.
NOBODY is a dating expert. Not you, and most likely not the men you’re meeting with. Or at least, let’s hope not!!!!
(Ok maybe not nobody, maybe people like me are dating experts but it’s only because I was such a dating disaster that I eventually became somewhat of a master. Even I don’t know everything, lol, but I do have a good handle on most dating issues, why they happen and how to solve them to meet your person).
If you’re really putting yourself out there and are genuinely searching for your person, dating can be a dramatic road of ups and downs, stumbles and falls, heartbreaks and sobering lessons on humanity.
BUT you can greatly reduce the discomfort if you just apply these tweaks:
The FIRST shift that I propose you adopt is that, just like you’re not a dating expert, the average man you will meet dating online or offline is ALSO not a dating expert. If you’re in your 30s and 40s which is the majority of my clients, you’re dating men that are also in that age group.
These men may have had a few short relationships or they may have been in a long term relationship prior to jumping in the dating pool.
So just remember that if there is awkwardness on the phone or when meeting, if he doesn’t call you right away or he keeps texting but doesn’t call and you haven’t used my magic text formula LOL to get him to call (which I will share in a sec) then it’s NORMAL.
Many women get frustrated because men don’t show up like a romance novel LOL, and then they get in the “Queen of Hearts” energy, “cut off their head!” And that’s understandable but unattractive and a complete turnoff to healthy masculine men. Which leads me to shift to #2:
The next thing YOU can do is be in your feminine energy – which is your playful, flowy and unattached self. If you find yourself not in this energy when you’re dating, it’s OK, just shift.
Remember; no body is a dating expert. Get back into your body by dancing, taking a bath or getting a massage, reading a book or other things that nourish and relax you (mani/pedi, etc). Leave yourself plenty of time to get to your date because rushing will knock you out of flow.
When you’re in THIS energy, it’s much less likely that you will try to control the situation. Instead, you will flow with the situation, with him, and with LIFE. Healthy masculine men will want to put their best foot forward, but we all mess up. How you are with him when he’s not perfect is an important factor in the selection of a partner for a healthy masculine man.
THIRD: The men that DO know how to WOW and make you feel special and do the reservation, dress up , pull out the chair, show up with a rose, etc…those men are usually NOT the healthy masculine single guys that are looking for their forever woman.
By the way if they have a habit of calling or texting after 8, they’re not the one.
If they use words like lover, bae, honey and ask for more photos, not the one.
They are the players that will charm you but they are not looking for their person even if they say they are.
Women say, he was SO perfect in the beginning, he was showing masculine, he was planning dates, he was showing up and being a provider, what happened?
Well what happened is that he wasn’t being himself, he was putting on a show that is UNsustainable.
Many of my clients found their person exactly by being open and meeting someone who didn’t seem perfect but was genuinely looking for their queen.
Many clients found their person by giving someone a second chance and a third chance when they were acting awkward, shy or unsure or had a bad profile picture (that was my hubby BBBAADD profile picture, lol, I am so glad I didn’t let that stop me).
And LAST, there is ONE thing that is a very clear indication if you have a healthy person or not and that is INTEGRITY.
If they say they will call at 6, they will call at 5:58 or 6:03. If they say they get off work early on Thursday, expect a call on Thursday asking you out.
To sum it up, nobody is a dating expert. Give yourself and the men you date grace. Showing up in your feminine energy will allow you to flow with the experience and life. The men that DO impress you on the first date are more often players than not. Look for integrity and authenticity (even if it’s awkwardness), not charm and perfection.
Ready for your man yesterday and feeling fed up with dating? Feeling like you really WOULD like a dating expert in your corner? Well guess what, you can HIRE me!!! I do just that in my 90 day 1-1 private intensive.
In that intensive we work on dating smart so you can filter out the riff raff quickly and easily, and understanding men so that you feel confident in your dating life and prepared for a partnership with a masculine man. We activate your empowered feminine through deep healing so you can joyfully and peacefully sustain a fulfilling relationship that leads to marriage.
My students meet their match in 3-6 months at rate of 1-2 dates per week, but some much sooner. That’s because there’s nothing as powerful as the combination of dating skills, personal growth and partnering tools that I have curated in this intensive along with deep healing to clear any and all blocks to REAL love that lasts.
If you’re ready for the REAL DEAL then I invite you to send me a DM on Facebook and ask about the intensive. I will respond with a few questions and we will have a quick chat over phone or e-mail to see if it’s a fit and if so, we can get started right away.