It’s not attachment issues, it’s because you’re dating unhealthy men. ANYONE would have attachment issues with a man who purposefully doesn’t attach.
You think you have anxious attachment but it’s just that you’re dating an emotionally unavailable man or maybe he is not a masculine man and healthy and ready for a relationship.
What you don’t see is that in reality there are NO attachment issues, because there is NO attachment….
It’s not because your attachment style is anxious, but because the person you want to attach to, isn’t available for attachment.
You think it’s something that can be worked through “together” with him, by exposing your attachment “issues.” You take on the responsibility of “fixing” this and get lost in the mire under the weight of something that isn’t fixable.
And you do this as a way to rope him into intimacy and control the connection BECAUSE you’re -understandably and rightfully – anxious.
There is, in fact, NO attachment.
He’s not giving you consistency, stability and integrity. These are NORMAL things. These are things ANYONE would need to create a healthy relationship.
So you CAN’T attach. And if you’re desiring to attach, and not able to attach, that will naturally produce anxiety, for anyone!
The mistake women make here is that you don’t move on. And you don’t move on because you think there are no good men and you have to make it work with this one. This is scarcity mentality and it is NOT the truth.
There is a very powerful word in the English language and it is this: NEXT!
I’d like you to remember this word next time you think that your attachment style is broken, that something is wrong with you for feeling confused about your relationship, and especially if you’re feeling drained in your relationship.
Women apply this word to their dating life far less frequently than they should.
And after working with 100s of single women, and also once being a single woman myself and plagued by this problem, here’s what I’ve discovered is the cause.
You don’t move on because you don’t know how to attract a plethora of interest via a simple online ad (on match or hinge or any platform), sort through the messages with very little effort and energy investment, and procure multiple introductions to high-quality men who are actually LOOKING for an ATTACHMENT lol.
Yes, this is a fact. I teach this, step by step in my 90 day 1-1 intensive. You can also get the strategy here
My clients do it over and over. And over. In as few as 6 weeks and apx 10 dates, in an average of 3-6 months at a rate of 1-2 dates per week and most certainly within 12 months of working with me.
And this is how my wonderful sweet feminine clients attract a healthy masculine man (not a perfect man), who is emotionally available and actually WANTS to attach.
And he wants to more than attach, wink wink.
He wants to CONNECT!
He wants to PROVIDE!
He wants to make you happy! Because he’s masculine, healthy, and READY for an attachment aka relationship.
And then guess what!!!? Just like that, the anxious attachment is gone. GONE.
Since you don’t know that there is literally an ocean of available men you can attract and sort through online and offline, you hang onto this one man, thinking healthy emotionally available men are hard to come by and you should stick it out with this one because your attachment style is the problem.
I don’t know HOW to convince you it’s not true because I can’t.
You just have to be willing to trust me and try it. But just for good measure here’s an example.
A sweet feminine woman I know met a man who seemed to be into her but he’s separated. He’s giving her all the signs of wanting a relationship and she thinks this is a good one. He promises a divorce next month, next year but the divorce never happens. I never recommend you date separated men for that reason – they’re not AVAILABLE for attachment.
Unfortunately after 3 yrs of dating and a year of living together, they’re breaking up and the poor woman’s gone through hell and back blaming herself her attachment issues and trying to make it work. Also her kids have been through the whole thing with her and now their life is unearthing too.
But the only mistake she made in this equation is picking an unavailable and unhealthy man to begin with. And the second mistake she made was staying too long and not using the NEXT word soon enough.
I don’t want you to make this mistake and find out the hard way that the man you’re wanting to connect with is actually UNavailable years later. Don’t do it.
It’s worked with women in their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s and 70s. It’s worked for women with kids. It’s worked for women without kids. It worked for me!!!!
It’s worked with women who were vegan and thought that would be a problem but it never came up. It worked for women in the boonies. It worked for fill-in-the-blank with your scenario.
You’re a hard worker, ambitious and educated and a fantastic person but NO you don’t have to work this hard at love.
You just need a few small tweaks in your dating mindset, most likely some healing from past heartbreaks (like all of us), and understanding of men and the masculine so you can create a powerful partnership that lasts.
These are all the things I teach in my 1-1 90 day intensive for single women who’re ready for the real deal NOW.
So if that’s you, I invite you to send me a DM and ask me about my 90 day 1-1 intensive. I will respond back with a few questions to see if we’re a good fit to work together and if so, we can get started right away.
And just like that all your attachment issues are GONE!