Are you cray cray if you’re dating and you hear two opposing voices in your head?
One voice awaits his text checking almost obsessively because you want a serious monogamous relationship while at the same time another voice assures you that you’re happy on your own and don’t need a man?
Quick answer: NO.
Supermajorly: No, you’re no cray-cray.
So often I see women blaming and shaming themselves for some thoughts, characteristics and feelings that are actually pretty typical in the dating journey.
These situations happen so often, for so many women, that I wanted to blow some rainbow sunshine up in hiya and bring you more confidence, freedom and ease if you’re dating and sincerely seeking your forever love.
For example, I often hear – either overtly or as an unacknowledged undertone -that women judge themselves as desperate if they actually admit they want a long-term monogamous relationship with a man.
Understanding the Desire for Love: Breaking Feminist Myths
They often say something along the lines of, “I should be happy alone, I should learn to love myself unconditionally first.”
The underlying message is that she shouldn’t want or need a man.
And you wanna know what I think about that?
It’s feminist propaganda.
It’s next to impossible to attract, have, or keep anything that you pretend you don’t want or you feel stupid or weird or guilty for wanting.
And as much as I am grateful to the feminist movement for what it has contributed to women’s empowerment, it left a lot to be desired when it comes to partnering powerfully with the other half of the world – the opposite sex.
Why WOULDN’T a healthy single female of age want a mate?
Since when did it become an assault to a woman’s dignity and self-empowerment to desire love, intimacy, sex and family?
It’s like wanting love has become treason… or worse – a weapon to beat women up with.
I often see brilliant women beating themselves up with it, too!
And no, actually.
You don’t have to love yourself unconditionally first.
This is preposterous because we are all flawed human beings that make mistakes.
What’s much more important is that we claim our mistakes and own them, be courageous enough to forgive ourselves for them and move forward with a powerful intention that allows us to choose differently next time.
This actually makes us good partners.
Ancient Instincts in Modern Dating: The Cavewoman Within
Women often blame themselves for thinking about someone and pining after him even if he’s not returning the interest.
After some digging, they reluctantly admit something like, “I should have better things to do and be able to go on with my life. What’s wrong with me for being so desperate and co-dependent?”
And they don’t know or don’t remember that for thousands and thousands of years, before we were homo sapiens, we were homo erectus, home nautilus, homo gazebus and a bunch of other homos LOL.
It’s been shown in multiple archeological studies that the females stayed in the dwelling areas together, caring for the children, tending the fire, gathering berries and tubers – safety was in numbers. They were the gatherers.
The males were the primary protectors and providers (hunters and warriors) of the tribe.
Although feminists might have me scalped for this, I will say that for many thousands of years women and children and the elderly actually DEPENDED on men.
(And men depended on women but I’ll talk about that in another post).
Which means women DEPENDED on men.
Which means DEPENDING on men is something your brain really wants to be able to do.
And what if healthy masculine men WANT to be depended on???
Nothing is wrong with you for wanting a mate, for waiting for his text or feeling nervous or afraid to lose his attention.
The upsetting feeling when he doesn’t call or text or maybe stops showing interest is NORMAL.
OMG! The provider and protector I was counting on has abandoned me!
Cavewoman starts hyperventilating.
And it’s Ok.
She’s just ensuring your survival.
She (rightfully) wants to know, “who is going to provide for me and my children and protect me?”
Can you see it?
She doesn’t know that it’s 2023 and you’ve got that.
She doesn’t know that there are upwards of 5000 other potential protectors and providers accessible via the miracle of online dating.
These feelings don’t make you LESS of a woman.
This doesn’t make you a desperate or codependent woman.
This makes you a HEALTHY ADULT HUMAN female.
You can own that part of yourself instead of hiding her in shame.
You can date with the freedom and the confidence that you’re perfectly normal.
And that kind of authentic confidence energy is irresistible to healthy masculine men.
Just as your body has ancient templates in its DNA for digesting food, fighting pathogens, nursing infants and more than a trillion other functions, it has some tricks up her sleeve to ensure your survival.
One trick is ensuring that you have a (perceived) protector and provider nearby.
Can you see it?
Shaming yourself, doubting yourself and wondering if you’re normal is a symptom of the same problem above – not understanding our human (animal) nature, denying it, trying to disavow it and exist above it.
Basically, compartmentalizing, hiding and disowning parts of ourselves which isn’t powerful and won’t allow us to manifest love that’s sacred or meaningful because we’re not fully owning our power.
Further – not understanding our human animal nature and its instincts in the realms of mating and dating can shockingly sabotage our efforts at connecting, nurturing chemistry and gauging compatibility with the opposite sex.
When it comes to the problems above, almost every single woman sincerely seeking love has gone through at least ONE them.
And most women have gone through ALL of them.
Transformative Dating Strategy: From Doubt to Divine Match
But have no fear, Emilia is here! LOL
PM me if you need help with attracting healthy love like a boss ASAP.
Powerfully owning your divine desire to be in a sacred love marriage, integrating your primal instincts and using that as a magnet to manifest hot healthy love ASAP is one of the main things I help single women with in my 90-day private intensive.
In my private intensive is where we work together 1-1 to clarify and align your intention and efforts in dating to start attracting the highest quality well-matched masculine men, so that you can feel confident in having many prospects to pick from (my client average is only 5 to 10 dates over 3 months at a rate of 1 to 2 dates a week) and attract Mr. Amazing ASAP.
I also share with you my frameworks for partnering powerfully to easily create connection, chemistry and quickly gauge compatibility, plus the mechanics of feminine and masculine polarity – just to put some icing on the cake – so you have everything you need to sustain your new hot healthy marriage for years to come.
When you send me a pm, I will respond back with a few questions to see if we’re a good fit to work together and if so, we can get started shortly.
We will immediately jump into your dating strategy and you will be amazed at the near magical ease of attracting multiple high-quality prospects, which is one of the main ways we prevent cavewoman fits of the sorts described above LOL.
When you’ve got plenty of quality prospects, you won’t think twice about one that is half-assing it.
You will easily, confidently and quickly move on in your dating journey, right into the arms of your divine match.