When he doesn’t invite you over as much as he used to or doesn’t initiate dates or text as often, or has a habit of making last minute plans; it’s NOT a sign that you’re not doing enough.
It’s actually a sign that you’re doing too much
And if you don’t lean back and give him space, a ghosting is most likely coming.
I am going to get really unsexy for a moment. But you’re an educated woman and you already know that dating is about mating, right?
If this is happening and you keep reaching out to him and then hearing the echo of silence – it’s a sign that your mammalian mating instincts might be running the show and not your human spirit.
You could unconsciously be acting in a way that’s very unattractive to a healthy masculine man.
To avoid this scenario, there are three things that are really helpful to understand, practice and integrate when dating for marriage:
- First, it’s important to understand men and their mating instincts. Their mating instincts are hard-wired and influence how men behave when they date.
- Second, it’s important to understand your own mating instincts as a woman which are also hardwired and affect how you behave when dating.
- Third, it’s paramount to multiple date. That way, when one man needs space you can effortlessly let him retreat into his cave and emerge when he’s ready.
That’s much easier on your instincts when he’s not your only “gentleman caller.” (This multiple dating thing is so important that I will do a separate post breaking down what that really means and how to do it without going or more dates, feeling drained or feeling like you’re cheating / being dishonest.)
I know this mammalian instinct thing isn’t a sexy topic but I see it mess with so many amazing women in their attempts at conscious love, so I want to address it.
Also, your instincts will always be a part of you and will affect the success of all of your relationships including business, friends and family.
And most importantly, implementing the three factors above will not only have you attracting conscious love faster and with less effort, it will ensure the fulfillment and longevity of your marriage.
Instincts don’t go away once you find the right partner.
As conscious, spiritual women, we prefer to think we’re above mating instincts. LOL
But it’s actually by understanding and integrating our instincts that sacred union can blossom.
That’s because sacred union is the union of divine feminine and divine masculine in a real HUMAN body and relationship.
Sacred union requires the ability for us to live in our divine self/higher self/human spirit WHILE in a physical (mammalian) body.
Here’s how to integrate your instincts when it comes to mating.
Female mating instincts are seeking a provider and protector.
As the weaker/smaller of the species and because human children are completely helpless for a very long time after birth (unlike horses for example, whose newborns are up and running within apx 24 hours), our instincts as women have us hanging on to any provider and protector that’s around. YIKES!
That’s why it’s so hard to break up with a man that’s good but not great (we settle) and why we as women unconsciously try to control and coerce a man into a commitment, especially if we’re having sex with him.
And that’s why when a man we’re dating pulls away, it’s so scary to us and we usually REACT rather than RESPOND.
In fact, to the mammalian cavewoman, our protector/provider abandoning us means sure death.
This instinct hasn’t been upgraded. It still runs in the background and it’s not logical, it’s biological. It’s based in survival in the primitive part of the brain.
So don’t judge yourself for it. Accept it, embrace it. Love it, it’s the part of you that’s kept you alive and not running into traffic or other danger.
I want to give an example here because this instinct part of us is SO wise and precious and so GOOD at what she does, we don’t ever want to disown or suppress her.
I was riding my bike with my baby in the baby seat. We fell.
I don’t know how (unconscious) but my body fell in such a way that my baby never hit the pavement.
I found myself on the ground somehow wrapped around and under her.
My instinct did that!!! And I thank her!!! I love her! Not a hair on my baby’s head was harmed.
Even though our instinct self is brilliant at survival, she’s not so brilliant at love. LOL
If you want conscious love, this instinct must be honored but not be allowed to RUN the show.
If he needs space and pulls away, respond from within your human spirit and not form your human animal.
Let him take the space and focus your energy on yourself.
Leave space.
Don’t text him, invite him to dinner or check how he’s doing or if he’s Ok. That’s your instinct. Because trust me he is OK.
Instead, engage in something that is creative, nourishes you and is fun!
You will most likely keep thinking about him and want to reach out to make sure everything is OK.
That’s your instinct.
But instead, be smart and direct the focus of your instinct to other potential protectors and providers by dating multiple men.
If you want connection, chemistry and compatibility that lasts, if you want fulfillment, reciprocity and soul-shaking love, you can only create that from within human spirit BALANCED with human animal.
Otherwise, human animal will take over often – especially if you have trauma – and it won’t be pretty.
When your human spirit is in charge, you attract sacred love very quickly because there’s nothing in the way.
If you’re a single woman currently dating and you want my help attracting extraordinary love ASAP, PM me and ask about my 90 day intensive.
In that 1-1 private container I give you a proven dating strategy for attracting a sacred partnership in apx 3 months.
We start with my 3 step sorting method that will have you connecting with a ton of healthy masculine men (so you can take your pick).
We work on healing and being clear with your dating intentions and how you communicate them and integrating your dear mammalian instincts so they support and empower you in all relationships.
When you are dating intentionally, consciously and from within human spirit with a little strategy sprinkled in, you will attract conscious love in 2023/24!