Oxytocin is why, when the princess kisses the frog, he becomes a prince. It’s because with that kiss, she secretes a ton of oxytocin and suddenly that’s how she SEES him, LOL.
Decoding Oxytocin: The Science Behind Love and Attachment
It’s not your weak will, trauma patterns, broken attachment style or daddy issues that have you staying too long with the wrong man.
It’s that damned unsexy science, LOL. It’s your biochemistry. Namely one specific compound: Oxytocin.
It’s the same with Beauty and the Beast. They dance together and suddenly her “love” transforms him.
While I am not dogging on the transformational powers of love, in this case, I can pretty much assure you that it wasn’t her love, it was just good ol’ oxytocin magically making him SEEM that way.
Oxytocin is that magical element that all feminine women produce a lot of.
Men produce it too but in smaller quantities. Also, testosterone inhibits the lifespan of oxytocin, causing it to disintegrate in the male bloodstream within 3 days.
In estrogen-based body biochemistry, Oxytocin levels REMAIN HIGH FOR UP TO 3 weeks.
Believe it or not, without oxytocin, we wouldn’t have love, attachment, families or even orgasms so it’s VERY useful.
It’s quite possibly the magical unicorn sauce that gives the superpower of SUDDENLY seeing those we touch, hugs and kisses (and especially orgasm with) with heart-shaped, rose-colored glasses.
For example, when you give birth, you secrete a TON of oxytocin and it’s what biochemically compels you to fall in love with your child. This biochemical bonding is nature’s wise way of ensuring species’ survival.
Navigating Oxytocin in Dating: Harnessing the Power of Attachment
Understanding when and where oxytocin is at play will help you not turn on yourself for feeling attachment that’s perfectly normal. And knowing this will also prevent you from going down the rabbit hole of repeatedly wondering, “What’s wrong with me” for like a man that’s uninterested.
Another area that oxytocin unknowingly interferes with dating is “feeling out of integrity” when attempting to meet multiple men in an effort to speed up getting to Mr. Right.
And it’s not your integrity to have a problem meeting multiple men when you’re looking for Mr. Right. It’s oxytocin that has you bonded to ONE man and prevents you from being open to meeting other men who might be a much better fit.
Women who know this allow this “secret unicorn sauce” thing to work for them and not against them. They allow the attachment to ebb and flow naturally with the multiple men they date when ready for marriage, while at the same time not allowing the attachment to get so strong (oxytocin levels get so high) that it prevents them from remaining genuinely open to other men.
Understanding where your own attachment threshold is (it might be at kissing, holding hands, or a cuddle) is a super empowering tool to have WORKING for you. It will help you apply your magical unicorn oxytocin powers with intention and attention to bonding with the man who cares for you and has your back, rather than the bad boy who has charmed you but will soon disappear.
In my case as an example, I am such a feminine being at my core, that I swooned when one man I dated grabbed my hand and put his body between me and the traffic as we were crossing the street. (GOD bless masculine, protective men!). I confess I pined for him for weeks, not months, even though he wasn’t that healthy or ready for a relationship just because he grabbed my hand, LOL. Just so NOW you know the power of this thing.
And here’s what to do for the brave woman that wants to use oxytocin magic to turn someone that loves her and cares for her into a prince: like the princesses, kiss him…and also, have sex with him. LOL! So easy!!!! 😊
There are just TWO things you need for this to work: One – have an orgasm.
And, two – in my experience, you need to start at a level of attraction that’s 5/10 and above.
But see, that’s not very much LOL. It’s very likely that if you sleep with your good guy friend that always has your back you have an attraction that’s 5+ (in my experience this doesn’t work if the attraction level is less than 5/10) he will magically become your unicorn.
As an educated woman single and dating, you can now use this superpower special, secret unicorn sauce to work FOR you instead of against you.
Try cultivating affection with men that treat you WELL in order to intentionally create that MAGICAL attraction, rather than wondering how to break up with the bad boys you already made out with that you now know you’ll STRUGGLE getting out of your head.
The above three areas where most single women dating need a small shift in understanding and behavior are just one example of the many small but priceless shifts we work on in my 90 day 1-1 intensive.
This intensive is for single spiritual women who are dating and ready for their life partner, but keep attracting the wrong men.
It’s for women who want to learn and apply powerful partnering tools to building SUSTAINABLE AND FULFILLING LOVE.
It’s for brave wild women who want the skills to meet and marry their comic counterparts.
Transforming Relationships with Science
Once you can learn these and other scientific facts about the way the sexes function in the process of dating and mating, you can make the unsexy science work for you rather than against you to create lasting fulfilling love.
That’s how my clients meet their match in just 3 to 6 months and most get engaged within 12 months.
If you’re interested in my help, just hit reply and ask about my 1-1, 90-day intensive. I will respond back with a few questions to make sure it’s a good fit and if so, we can get started right away.