PSA for WOMEN: You’re not “needy” if you have needs that CAN be fulfilled. You’re only “needy” if you have needs for which there exists NO satisfaction.
Needs are things you feel unwell, off-balance or upset without. Needs are also things you can have “enough” of. Needs are GOOD!!!!
Neediness is when you bring up problems but are unwilling to accept solutions.
Neediness is when you think you have the right to expect something to happen (entitlement) without communicating it or requesting it.
Neediness is when you are given gifts but those gifts leave you unappreciative and dissatisfied and experiencing that it’s not enough.
Neediness is when you think you want something but you can’t actually receive it and appreciate it when it is provided for you.
Neediness is when you have assumptions, wounds, and “truths” about life, about men, about (pick any area) that leave you UNABLE or UNWILLING to receive satisfaction or fulfillment in that area.
Being willing to have a need satisfied is extremely vulnerable territory for women and many of us unconsciously play a push and pull game with men to keep them on the edge by not letting them “in on it” when they’ve actually provided for our needs sufficiently.
Stop that now if you want empowered love with a masculine man who has your back. Keep reading for how….
Here are examples of needs:
water – you can drink enough and feel satisfied
sleep – you can sleep enough and wake up with the experience of having had enough sleep (unless you’re sick or have adrenal fatigue, pregnant, etc)
rest – you can rest and then feel ready to do more things
food – you can eat and experience being satisfied, or full (I struggle with this one, so yes, I am needy in this area OMG!!!)
sex – you can have sex and experience fulfillment or satisfaction
quiet time – you can have a certain amount of quiet time and then feel complete with needing that
Here are more needs:
feeling capable of making a contribution
These are needs ALL healthy humans have.
Healthy relationships are fulfilling and sustainable when the partners ALLOW each other to have needs, are committed to COMMUNICATING about those needs and the partners are committed to themselves and each other HAVING their needs met, so that both partners can be in their full POWER.
No one can show up as their best self when their needs aren’t met.
Healthy men tend to avoid needy women. That’s because a needy woman can’t receive, can’t be satisfied and generally isn’t happy. Healthy masculine men want to make their women happy. If they can’t make you happy, they WILL leave because they perceive it as wasting their resources of energy, money, time, etc.
So have needs, let him know what they are, be a partner and tell him what it would look like to have those needs met and then appreciate him when he provides them!
But if you find yourself unable to do the above AKA “needy,” you most likely need some help learning to receive and be vulnerable again – due to past wounds.
This is one of the main things we work on healing in my 90 day 1-1 intensive for women ready for your soulmate and you are either already dating him or you believe you might have found him – and you know you want to do things very differently this time around than you’ve been able to do in your last relationships.
The intensive is for feminine women committed to empowered partnership with their healthy divine masculine man.
The intensive is a combination of smart dating, healing and partnering transformations. This is so you pick a healthy masculine man who is ready for a relationship; understand him as the masculine polarity and yourself as the feminine counterpart, and learn powerful partnering tools to sustain your partnership for the long haul.
My clients meet their match in an average of 3-6 months at a rate of 1-2 dates per week. Some clients meet their match much sooner – within as few as 10 dates – and for others it takes up to 12 months. No one who has worked with me and wanted their soulmate took longer than 12 months to get engaged.
If you’re interested in this private 1-1 intensive, then I invite you to send me a DM and ask me about it. I will reply back with a few questions and we will have a quick chat over messenger to see if it’s a fit and if so, we can get started right away.