Skip to content

Stop This One Thing if You Want to SELECT Instead of SEARCH and PICK Instead of PURSUE

When you feel completely lost with men, incapable of getting what you need, want, crave and deserve from them and frustrated AF that your love life isn’t going where you want it to…..there is literally ONE small, itsy, bitsy, iny, miny change to make.

Just one change. STOP this energy: Chasing, Generating, Searching, Connecting, Entertaining, Trying, Asking Questions, Pursuing and Demanding.

These are all the same energy – Masculine and unhealthy Feminine.

I know because this happened in my life. And I was shocked that the minute I stopped SEARCHING and started SELECTING, EVERYTHING CHANGED.

Men started chasing ME. They started falling over themselves asking me out. I got to pick instead of pursue!!!!!

This happens for EVERY.SINGLE.CLIENT, too.

I know this because I used to CHASE guys that surfed, guys that traveled, guys that flew planes.

It’s embarrassing to share this so publicly but I was SO gung ho to go do ALL that with them and I would like ask them over and over when we were doing this or that LOL!!

One guy said, I love your gumption to go surfing with me.

But he never called me to go out, ask me to go with him or followed up on my desire.

Neither did many of the others.

Like, my excitement and gumption wasn’t enough.

This led me to wonder what was wrong with me.

Why didn’t he want to go surfing with me when I wanted to so bad and I told him so?

Why didn’t he want to take me flying again after the first time was so fun and I told him I want to go again?

Why didn’t he wanna take me camping when he talked about it all the time?

This led me to believe that men are unreliable, liars and emotionally unavailable.

It led me to think men were over complicated and uncommunicative and they don’t know what they want.

It led me to think that I just wasn’t the kind of girl that men wanted to hang out with.

That I wasn’t pretty enough or sporty enough or maybe my dad was right and I really was too fat and no one would marry me and maybe I really was a financial liability because I had a bankruptcy in my late 20s due to a the fraudulent mortgages on my rental properties I purchased with the insurance settlement money I got from a pit-bull attack that permanently maimed my right arm (even though most of these men did not know that).

But then I vowed I would understand this thing.

And I went to my first Alison Armstrong workshop in 2006.

And she told us that men were generous, loving, they wanted to provide and protect and take care of women and I was shocked and in disbelief until she brought 5 men (the man panel) of different ages and professions to answer women’s questions.

And I saw everything she taught us come ALIVE in the faces, voices and presence of real men and I finally could SEE men in a way I had NEVER seen them before.

I SAW them the way they SEE in Avatar.

And what I learned/realized was that it’s not that men are ANY of the things that I feared above.

And it’s not that something was wrong with me.

What I know now is that they DO know what they want.

It was just that these men above that I so desperately wanted to hang out with, somewhat pursued (all the while telling myself that I was just letting them know my interest) for whatever reason didn’t want to hang out with ME.

These men were not:

-interested in me
-available
-ready or looking for a relationship
-masculine
-healthy

What if I somehow could GET introductions to men who were masculine, healthy, available, interested in me and ready or looking for a relationship?

How did I get these introductions?

I just went on dating apps and learned to FILTER for these characteristics.

And…..

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of the problems I described above went away when instead of looking at men’s profiles like a shopping catalog and messaging the hot ones, I stopped looking at profiles and simply responded to the men that messaged me, WITHOUT judging them by their profile, photo, or anything that I didn’t observe MYSELF in person, not “on paper.”

And then guess what?

Suddenly ALL the men in my life were chasing ME!

And they liked ME, lol!!!

And it was soon after that I met my amazing hubby. That was 14 yrs ago.

Now I teach this method to ALL my clients and they literally go on 1-2 dates a week and meet their match in as soon as just 10 dates!

……even if they live in a small town…

……even if they thought all the men in their town are losers…

…..even if they thought that they are introverts and have a small bandwidth for emotionally draining interactions and can’t “date”

….even if they felt that they really weren’t all “that” much of a catch according to the masculine ideals set for women today (only to discover that the healthy masculine men I have them sorting and meeting LOVE that about them!)

So my point is, everything BAD you think is true about men is TRUE, as long as you’re interacting with unavailable, unhealthy, insincere men who are not in their masculine energy.

But there are PLENTY of good, honest hard working masculine men genuinely looking for a partner online that just want to find someone like YOU.

You just need to learn a few things about men and dating discerningly – which isn’t promiscuity, polyamory or having a relationship, it’s simply meeting single men who have been filtered through, for an introduction.

That’s all that’s it the end. Do that at a rate of 1-2 dates per week and you will meet your guy in as few as 3-5 dates or in an average of 10 dates.

If you want my help, I still have 2 spots open in my Soulmate Attraction Formula Group Program that starts this Thursday March 21st at 10 am PST and goes for 8 weeks.

Send me a DM if you want in and we will have a quick chat over messenger to see if it’s a fit and if so, you can start right away!

Love, Emilia

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *