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The #1 Reason So Many Relationships Go Wrong is Because You Didn’t Let Him COURT You

The reasons so many of your relationships go wrong is because you really didn’t know how to let him COURT you.

You didn’t understand the difference between a relationship and courtship and you entered into RELATIONSHIP season too soon.

This is acting like it’s summer before it’s summer LOL.

Not because you’re a manipulative woman, but probably because no one taught you about this. So have no fear, Emilia is here (trumpet sound LOL)!

So this is like wearing shorts and tank tops in the winter. It’s not the right SEASON! You will NOT be OK! LOL.

Relationships don’t start with an introduction, whether that’s in person at a coffee shop or work, on an online dating app, a blind date set up by friends, etc, etc.

After an introduction, you’re NOT in a relationship.

You’re in an Acquaintanceship, LOL.

This goes for whether you kiss, have sex or go scuba diving together right after you meet. LOL.

It doesn’t matter what you DO together, you’re still in an Acquaintanceship after an introduction and shortly thereafter.

It goes something like this:

-stranger (introduction on dating app then in person, texts, calls)

-acquaintance/attraction (1-2 dates IN person, not video dates)

-new friend/courtship (3-5 dates IN person)

-courtship (5+dates)

-exclusivity (could be date 5, could be date 10 or later, but the important thig is that we DESIRE to create a sacred space for this connection/courtship because we’ve met a man we like, respect, trust and admire and FEEL good around. We’ve had a conversation and agreed that we’re NOT going to be entertaining/seeking other introductions and that no Xs are in the picture for this creation. We get on the same page that will be walking the next 12 months or so towards ENGAGEMENT for the purpose of MARRIAGE.

-relationship

-engagement

-marriage

After the exclusivity conversation you’re “going steady” LOL.

The connection now will be SAFELY, INTENTIONALLY and MUTUALLY transitioning from courtship to a RELATIONSHIP.

When a couple decides to “go steady,” they have mutually agreed to exclusively date each other and refrain from seeing or meeting other people in a romantic context.

Yes, this includes phone calls with Xs (unless you share children), entertaining new introductions, and working to rekindle an old flame that never quite went out.

No.

Now you’re indicating a level of commitment and exclusivity, building devotion and trust with ONE man, the one YOU choose, whereas in the courtship stage, you can be courted by several men, and I recommend this, teach this and fully condone this!

In a relationship where the couple is going steady, there is an agreement of loyalty, trust, and emotional investment in each other. They may engage in activities together, spend time with each other’s families, and build a deeper connection based on shared experiences and mutual understanding.

This is when we’re “preparing for engagement.” That means we’re having the hard conversations about things like:

-who will be the primary parent if you’re going to have children
-who will be the main provider financially when you have children
-who will manage the home
-who will manage the finances

These are ALL RELATIONSHIP conversations. A relationship denotes an established and committed connection between individuals who have DECIDED to pursue a romantic partnership.

And if you’re reading from me, that’s a romantic partnership like MARRIAGE, that you’re up to creating.

I don’t mean marriage, as in a piece of paper, but marriage as in a sacred union where BOTH partners are nourished in a fulfilling and sustainable way and the union therefore can LAST for life.

It’s HOT, it’s HEALTHY and it’s WORKING for both of you because you’re connected on every level, going through the seasons together with 10/10 trust.

DECIDED, means HAD a CONVERSATION and an AGREEMENT about “what are we.”

It signifies mutual understanding, trust, and emotional investment, with both parties actively involved in sustaining the bond.

Courtship focuses on winning affection and approval. Having fun. Creating a bond that goes past acquaintance.

We’re not navigating challenges together, YET.

We’re not sharing deeply about our fears and worries about having kids, for example, yet.

We’re not discussing who will provide and who will stay home when and if kids come – YET.

A relationship entails shared experiences, communication, and the navigation of challenges TOGETHER.

The thing that is the gateway of courtship into a RELATIONSHIP is IMPORTANT.

Very, very very important. I call that an exclusivity conversation. Or an exclusivity agreement. Or “going exclusive,” and “going steady.”
This GATEWEAY determines the quality of your relationship – possibly for LIFE. Be intentional about it.

It’s not something to skip over.

It’s not something to assume is happening on its own.

It’s not like we’ve been on 5 dates, so now we’re in a RELATIONSHIP. NO.

It’s not something that will naturally happen at the right time if you’re not being intentional about it however there is an element of divine timing if you’re in the right connection, ready, opena nd willing.

It’s not something that happens when you kiss.

It’s also not something that happens when you have sex.

It’s something that happens when you CREATE it.

How do you create it?

First and foremost, INTENTIONALLY. Prepare for the conversation.

But that’s another post.

I find that for some women, simply knowing what I’ve written here has the power to change your love life, if you’re single or dating or even if you’ve already met someone you like and even if you’re in a situationship.

I hope this clarifies some things for you! Feel free to share what sand how!

And as always if you’re in a place in your life where this feels like a refreshing drink, then you might want to follow me for more.

And if you’re ready for your man, seeing a man you really like but you don’t know where it’s going or having no luck navigating dating, then my 90 day intensive might be just what you need.

It’s a coaching package I designed to help you attract your dream man and go from courtship to relationship in an average of 3 months.

If you know that’s you, then send me a DM and mention this blog.

We will have a quick chat over messenger to see if we’re a fit and if so, we can get started righta way.

I have one spot left in April, is one of them yours?

Love, Emilia

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