Many women HATE dating and find it exhausting and draining because you’re using accommodation energy instead of invitation energy.
Accommodation energy leads to feeling drained and resentful.
Invitation energy leads to fulfillment, excitement and nourishment.
Let me break it down a little more.
Invitation energy is on YOUR terms.
It’s on YOUR time.
It’s at YOUR convenience.
It’s what would WORK, like actually WORK for you to make you happy.
It’s something that if he’s able and willing to provide, will provide a result for you.
You will have appreciation for him. Respect. Admiration.
It will generate in you a desire to reciprocate with your heart.
That’s invitation energy. It’s the beginning of nourishing energy flow that lasts a lifetime.
Accommodation energy comes out of compromise. It’s a foundation for eventual relationship devastation and destruction.
Because it comes out of sacrifice.
It comes out of feeling small – that you’re not allowed to have needs and wants.
Accommodation doesn’t come from a place of empowerment or co-creation.
It comes from a place of wanting to please, appease, accommodate.
It puts you in a position of bargaining down your own needs and wants to satisfy another’s. And that will NEVER create an empowered relationship.
Accommodations, over time drain your energy and build resentment and destroy marriages and any relationship.
It comes from a place of believing that you need to say yes to crumbs because that’s all you’re gonna get.
But masculine men that are healthy don’t want to give you crumbs.
They want to give you EVERYTHING.
In a sacred partnership there is no accommodation, there is co-creation.
There is no room for co-creation when you’re working within the paradigm of accommodation because within accommodation, you’re already playing small.
You’re playing small, sacrificing and compromising. And that doesn’t lead to co creating your dreams.
That leads to being and having LESS of what you need and want.
Which diminishes you. Then there’s LESS of you because you can’t be the best of you when you’re diminished and your needs are not met.
Here’s an example: A guy asks you out and let’s say he lives 45 mins across town. You remember you will have a work thing there. You don’t agree to meet him halfway.
Instead, your thinking should go something like this:
- Ok I am in his neck of the woods, but will I have energy after my work event to see him?
- Will I feel excited to meet him before my work event for coffee or will I feel rushed and pressured for time?
- Is it EASY for me to meet him after my work event?
- Do I WANT to meet him after my work event?
- Would I need to eat right after the work event because I will most likely feel famished?
Then you are clear within how you can set this up so it supports you and nourishes you.
You don’t want to meet him BEFORE the work event because you don’t want to have to rush in the morning and feel pressed for time and get there even earlier.
You wouldn’t mind meeting after the work event, as long as it involves FOOD LOL.
You don’t want to go anywhere LOUD after the work thing.
It would actually feel great to meet him for dinner and relax in a quiet restaurant after a busy day with a glass of wine.
So then when he says, let me know when you’re in my neck of the woods.
And you don’t ACCOMMODATE him.
You say, I will be there Saturday and my work event ends at 4 pm.
He says, great would you like to meet after for coffee or a walk or a bite to eat?
Or maybe he says great, would you like to meet after?
And now you’re clear with yourself, so YOU can CO CREATE and say…
I would love to meet after, as long as it involves food in a quiet place and a glass of wine because I will need it after work. 😊
And now guess what?
If he is a healthy masculine man, now he is on a MISSION.
He starts looking up places or thinking of places and then he comes back with:
-oh I don’t know any good places around here – NEXT (means you NEXT him, he’s hot healthy masculine!)
-I know just the place and I can meet you there at 4 (YAY!)
You say great, looking forward to it.
He sends the address.
WIN WIN date.
And sometimes women are with GOOD men.
They are with HEALTHY men.
But because they’re coming from a paradigm of accommodation, these men can’t WIN for them, can you see it?
These men are set up to FAIL at giving the woman they love what would make the biggest contribution and so these men are in essence castrated or at very least you can think of it as handicapped.
They are handicapped because you’re actually NOT receiving.
You’re accommodating and so you’re GIVING. Giving yourself AWAY.
But the giving is draining you, exhausting you and making you resentful.
And I have clients caught in this cycle in the early stages of dating and I have clients that are still caught in this cycle in their marriages when they come to me for help.
This is NOT sustainable.
I have a client who got several marriage proposals in her 20s from GOOD men but she was in a pattern of accommodating and she did not even know why she turned them down.
But she is a spiritual person and her spirit knew that that relationship would be headed for disaster – either a lifetime of resentment or a divorce or both!
That’s why when you work with me I teach you to invite and co create instead of accommodate – from the get go.
If you don’t date accommodating, you won’t MARRY accommodating.
If you date co-creating you will marry co-creating.
That’s one of the things I help you diagnose, identify, heal and transform in my 90 day 1-1 intensive so that you’re dating from a win-win position with men. It’s a GAMECHANGER for your love life.
Send me a DM if you want help with this! I will respond back with a few questions and we will have a quick chat over messenger to see if we’re a fit, and if so, we can get started right away!