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The World’s Alpha Male is not the Same as YOUR Alpha

When you’re feeling like you’re not meeting any admirable inspiring men, it is usually a sign of two possible problems.

One, you’re not filtering through your inbound messages on dating aps or being discerning when meeting new men in person and/or;

two, you’re holding out for The Alpha.

I’ve addressed the first problem in multiple other posts, so in this post I want to address the problem of waiting for The Alpha.

In modern times we think of an Alpha male as most desirable because he’s usually more charismatic, successful and wealthier than others.

So, yes DUH, of course you’re looking for the Alpha!!!

Every woman is looking for the Alpha.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with looking for the Alpha, except that it’s instinct. LOL. It’s based on survival, status and self-preservation. Not in co-creation, courage and authenticity.

And since my work is all about sacred partnership, which is the spiritual union of the divine masculine and feminine is human incarnate relationships, I want to say what I always say: If human instinct is all there is, you’re doomed.

But if you tap into the tantric flow of creative potent sexual energy that flows between feminine and masculine and ground your partnership there (along with some practical considerations because you’re still doing life in bodies), you have a foundation for a sacred marriage that’s stronger than anything we see depicted in our culture and society today.

In addition to you wanting the Alpha with your instinct and not necessarily your soft feminine heart and wild woman soul, is that the same instinct that has you holding out for the Alpha, has you contorting and fawning when you meet/see him.

It activates primal mating behaviors and squashes human spirt.

He doesn’t get to meet the wild feminine woman in you, he gets to meet the cavewoman.

So that’s why I say, run away from a “10” (10 out of 10 on your attraction scale of 0 to 10) as fast as you can. But that’s another post.

A second reason you shouldn’t hold out for the alpha is this: I can tell you sincerely and as a result of my experience as a relationship coach for women, very few modern women can sustain being with an Alpha.

This goes for both, the “traditional Alpha” which is a strong personality that’s domineering and controlling, unemotional and goal oriented.

But also – I don’t think our modern thinking has caught up with the fact that someone like Jesus is a much closer depiction of the Alpha and not someone like Muhammed Ali.

But either way, my point is the same: Most women won’t actually be fulfilled with The Alpha.

Could you have really been with and raised a family with and felt important to a man like Jesus?

A man who is busy teaching, healing, leading and saving the world?

I know I couldn’t.

It would take a much greater woman than I, I admit and depart.

I am too self-centered, I want my man for me LOL.

I like that he’s available to drive me places and can take our daughter to school each morning while I work on my dreams and mission.

How could I do it without him? I could not. I need Sacred Partnership.

I don’t know about you but many women I work with want to be the center of their man’s world.

And it’s already hard enough that at the building stage (early 30s and 40s) most healthy masculine men’s main focus is building a life and providing for you and the family. (And that’s their love offering. It’s often not their direct undivided attention like most of us feminines swoon about, LOL.)

So, alpha feminines who want a man to match: Shift your perception of what an Alpha is to YOU.

Often any man can be an Alpha to YOU if he has the qualities YOU most admire and desire.

He doesn’t have to have the characteristics of the typical Alpha that is loud, boisterous, a little overbearing, charismatic and a big thinker, doer and visionary. And he doesn’t have to have the characteristics of the true Alpha, like Jesus.

It can be a man who is the Alpha at building great log homes if your dream is to live in one, or it could be a man who is the Alpha at history and literature and that’s a subject you’re fascinated by and could listen to for hours.

In my case my husband was my Alpha when it came to compassion, peace and support. I grew up in an emotionally abusive home and those qualities made him the Alpha to me.

He earned my respect for his depth of compassion for me, especially, as I went through multiple layers of trauma healing physically, mentally and emotionally in our first year of dating. I knew he had my back, that he could be my rock.

He won my heart with his depth of emotional attunement, unconditional compassion, unilateral support of me and his ability to see me as innocent in the dynamics that I was caught up in and hold me as lovable even when my family members were attacking me and making me feel like less than the shit on their shoe.

So I encourage you to detach your concept of the Alpha from the typical representation of what that is and acknowledge that a part of you will always need the reassurance that she’s safe and will be cared for.

But you don’t need an Alpha for that. You just need a masculine man.

If you’d like help attracting an incredible man who is YOUR Alpha, then send me a PM and ask about my 12 week 1 on 1 intensive.

This intensive acts as an accelerator to attracting (and insurance for sustaining) long-term, committed love.

In that container, we implement the mindset shifts and healing work needed to attract a masculine man who LEADS you where you also want to go as opposed to simply leading where HE wants to go.

We also work on simplifying and streamlining your dating process so you’re primarily meeting with these kinds of men, so you can take your pick.

And finally, we work on understanding the masculine and partnering powerfully for long-term fulfilling, committed love.

I can’t guarantee that you will meet your guy in 12 weeks (at a rate of 1-2 dates per week) but you very well could, or shortly thereafter. Almost all of my clients do.

I sincerely believe – it’s based on my track record with my clients – that with my help you will be engaged by the end of 2024, if that’s what you want! So send me a dm and let’s make it happen!

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