You’ve got a generous heart and yet you always attract the wrong man? I was thinking about you today as I had my hubby try on the clothes I bought him.
I bought like 7 pairs of shorts and 6 shirts because I knew that some of them wouldn’t fit and we’d have to return some and I know he hates shopping.
Returns he hates even more, lol.
We have a joint bank account now and we both put money in there so it wasn’t like I was buying it with exclusively “my” money but it still reminded me of when….
I bought my boyfriends’ suits.
There were two of them I bought suits for; perhaps 3.
My first boyfriend who didn’t have a job and wasn’t really concerned with working at all because he had wealthy parents and knew he’d never have to “hustle.”
The Pattern of Over-Giving: My Personal Journey
And my boyfriend after that didn’t have the money so when we went to Bulgaria to visit my family I bought him a full suit that he loved as well.
I think there was a third boyfriend I bought a suit for. YIKES!
There was! He had moved to the USA form Europe and was trying to get a professional job. I helped him and then I resented him.
I stewed in my resentment and unfulfillment with all of them and with men in general.
I am ashamed to admit a part of me hated women who got money, gifts and leadership from men.
I told myself these women were beneath me and didn’t know how to stand on their own two feet and I was SO WRONG.
Why did they get the good men? How come I never met them?
When it came to my men, it went like this……
The first one was lazy and immature, the second one was manipulative and abusive and the third one was effeminate and wishy-washy.
Why am I telling you this?
Because I know if you’re reading my stuff, you are a generous, loving, giving woman.
And you over-give to earn love, just like I used to.
And this makes the cycle of never feeling met or appreciated or taken care of never stop.
Recognizing the Signs: The 50/50 Men vs. Masculine Providers
Like my x boyfriends, the men you end up with – just like I used to – are takers, or as Kissy Denise calls them, 50/50 men.
They are not provider men, not masculine men, not men who take pride in caring for their woman and family.
The kind of men that are moys (men boys – that’s what I call them) and don’t know how to have a reciprocal partnership.
They’re either insecure, unavailable or both and you keep trying to help them get on their feet because they are such good guys, or they have good hearts or you love them.
Reclaiming Feminine Power: The Path to Healthy Partnership
Sis, if that’s you, you don’t know how to have a reciprocal partnership.
I am so sorry. Stay with me.
I am here to call you back to your Queen power.
A healthy masculine man takes PRIDE in providing for his woman and children and the elderly.
He takes pride in serving.
A healthy feminine woman knows when to receive and when to give back.
But she doesn’t give to earn love or give to compensate for what she feels is deeply lacking within her – her worth.
If you are reading this, you’re likely and empath or a healer.
You might be highly successful in your business with lots to give and a great life – friends, a good career and a comfortable or even luxurious lifestyle.
But you just can’t attract the right man and you’re lonely.
You keep attracting the wrong men because you’re missing a few things.
First, you’re missing your worth and sense of feminine power.
You need that power to create a healthy fulfilling partnership.
Receiving graciously is your superpower when in a relationship with a healthy masculine man. But you give, to try to earn instead.
Second, you’re missing how to attract and connect with masculine men who cherish women.
You don’t attract them or if you do, you claim you’re not attracted to them.
You’re attracted to men who need you and seem to be good men and all that’s missing from their life is a good loving woman like you to help them get back on track.
That’s a lie you tell yourself.
Those men aren’t going to change.
The truth is you need them to feel in control because you’re afraid of being vulnerable and getting hurt again.
As long as they need you and you don’t need them, you’re going to be in control.
Third, you don’t know how to date. You’re a giver so you put out insane amounts of energy to meet your match only to feel drained and resentful because after months of texts, emails or phone calls he disappears, he meets someone else and doesn’t go for you after everything you did to be there for him, and you didn’t know how to filter him out after the first few messages.
Because trust me, he showed his true colors at the start. You didn’t listen. Either you didn’t know HOW or you didn’t know WHAT to listen for and you were paying attention tot he wrong things AND/OR you didn’t follow your intuition when it was telling you “NO” because you told yourself mean and unhelpful things about yourself that kept you in a dynamic accepting less.
The good news is that the three things above can be repaired and you can start attracting an abundance of high-quality commitment-minded men with just a few small tweaks.
If you’re interested in learning how to turn these patterns around for good, I want to invite you into my Healing Everything Program.
Just send me a DM and I will respond with a few questions to make sure it’s a fit and if so, you can get started right away and be ready for our first group call on July 19th at 10 am PST.
I am excited to help you out of this cycle so you never buy the wrong men clothes again!
Because buying the RIGHT man a suit is giving back after he’s poured into you, which is what he longs to do for his feminine Queen.
It’s giving back to a man who takes care of you and provides for you and your family.
Not that you can’t provide, not that you’re weak. No, it’s because he loves to take care of you and you do the same for him.
To your lifelong success in love,
Emilia