You’re not meeting healthy masculine men because you’re in black or white mode. Either you entertain any and all men thinking you should “be open and receptive” OR you flip to the other end of the spectrum and reject any and all man in an effort to protect yourself.
You can’t do it this way, black or white doesn’t work.
You must be open to the RIGHT men while repelling the WRONG men.
Ya, that’s why dating is so hard.
But have no fear, Emilia is here and I am going to tell you exactly how to solve this problem.
This is the problem of the under reactive or overreactive filter LOL.
Calibrating Your Filter: From Accepting to Selecting the Right Partner
So you have to CALIBERATE your filter to repel unhealthy/not masculine WHILE attracting HEALTHY masculine.
How do you CALIBERATE your filter?
With connection, presence and paying attention to the energy flow between you and a man.
Jumping to accept or reject is EASY.
It doesn’t require any mastery.
Anyone can accept and anyone can reject. But not everyone can SELECT.
So how do you CALIBERATE your filter to SELECT?
You must offer partnership to the RIGHT men.
Set them up to win.
Give them quality information about what you want and need to be happy with them.
Let them have a chance.
Give them an opening. Not a narrow opening and not an opening that’s too wide, but an opening nevertheless.
Black & White Dating: The Pitfalls of Over- and Under-Selectivity
Some of you are just dating offline and online and accepting any and all offers from any man that shows interest and pursues you or any man that YOU decide has hot shit for reasons that usually have nothing to do with whether he’s a high quality masculine man or not.
And…
Some of you are dating online and offline but rejecting almost all offers/men that don’t come in at the exact time, in the exact method and in the exact place that you want. You inwardly criticize what they wear, how they talk, who they be,
Both of these are going to lead to the WRONG man. It’s black and white thinking.
In the first case, you’re not being SELECTIVE enough and you will end up on boring and annoying dates with men you don’t like who are not in their healthy masculine energy.
And then you might end up entertaining them anyway, trying to change them or just hoping things will get better for you once you’re “together” – which are all recipes for disaster.
In the second case you will REPEL those men I describe above, which is good. YAY!
But you will ALSO repel healthy masculine men who are looking for the RIGHT woman. This isn’t good, because those are the men you WANT, right? NOT GOOD, NOT YAY! LOL
The Power of Balanced Partnership: Attracting a Healthy Masculine Man
That is why you need to date with a CALIBERATED combination of SELECTIVITY AND PARTENRSHIP.
That combination is SO SO SO powerful and that is how my clients are able to attract their dream man in just 4-5 dates using my method.
Because they’re not going out with any of the men from the first criteria, they’re not wasting their time and energy.
And because they are allowing the men in from the second criteria, they are enjoying their dates, feeling nurtured, relaxed and having fun because they’re meeting great men!
And they are also PARTNERING with the men from the second criteria by giving the RIGHT information.
This information is useful for two reasons; healthy men will APPLY it WELL and unhealthy men will RUN TF away which is EXACTLY what we want them to do!
In the first case I described above, where you’re just going out with whatever guy asks that has a hot profile, you’re NOT selecting appropriately for healthy masculine energy men who are ready for a relationship.
That’s because you can’t tell that from a profile, even if the profile says he’s looking for a LTR and looks good on “paper.”
Doing this mistake, which a lot of women do, you will end up on dates with players and narcissists and effeminate men.
You didn’t SELECT.
This first scenario happens to women who feel that they are in scarcity when it comes to men and won’t ever find the perfect man.
BUT there is a deeper reason scenario #1 happens and that is that deep down you don’t believe you’re worthy of love and you will just accept any offer because you don’t want to be alone and maybe you want marriage and kids but it’s not going to be a healthy, long-lasting marriage if you don’t heal this first.
In the second scenario, you are selecting too aggressively aka rejecting and it actually comes from the same wound.
You don’t feel worthy of healthy love and you’re afraid that the wrong man will come in and take advantage of you again and compel you to sacrifice and compromise yourself and play small, diminishing who you are and what you truly desire in the process.
This leads to the same result: a marriage to an unhealthy man that you later divorce, maybe with some kids in tow, and now you got to flip the pattern if you want to create a healthy reciprocal partnership that LASTS.
And I have good news! I have the EXACT solution to this problem and it’s a course I created for healing exactly these kinds of wounds.
It’s the healing that allows you to walk the MIDDLE path of connecting, staying present and paying attention to the energy flow so that you’re SELECTING.
You’re not unilaterally ACCEPTING and you’re also not flippantly REJECTING.
You’re SELECTING.
If you’ve been in the WRONG relationships or you consistently attract the WRONG men, if you’ve come out of a divorce and want to heal whatever it is that had you land in that unfulfilling relationship in the first place, then I want to invite you into my Healing Everything program starting July 19th.
In that program we work to heal this exact pattern at its source so you can start SELECTING instead of ACCEPTING or REJECTING.
Send me a DM if this resonates and mention this post. I will respond back with a few questions to see if the program is a fit and if so, you can get started right away with the online portion.