Instead of the narrative, “I need more self-love first before I can be in a true love partnership,” I would offer the narrative of, “sacred union is paramount for the new earth and being in sacred union supports, empowers and synergizes me to fulfill my mission.”
When it comes to finding true love, self-love is totally overrated.
You don’t NEED self-love to be loved by another.
You don’t need to be perfect.
Your house doesn’t have to be clean and your finances don’t have to be in perfect order.
I am not saying that you should not cultivate self-love.
I just want to remind you that even without the “right” amount of self-love, you can still find true love. 😊
None of us are perfect.
And thoughts like, “I need to love myself first,” or “I need to be loving myself better,” or “I need to be giving myself more love,” or “how will anyone love me if I don’t love myself,” are just mental blocks that keep you from opening up your being to miracles like true love.
Because also, when?
When will you have enough self-love?
When will your house be clean ENOUGH?
When will your finances be in ORDER enough?
When will you be enough, just as you are?
In our society, we have a real problem with the word “enough.”
That’s because we have so much excess in the presence of so much lack.
“Enough” in the Age of Perfection: Challenging Self-Love Narratives
We have constant bombardment with how we are not enough.
We are not tall enough, pretty enough, hairless enough, skinny enough, rich enough.
One of the things I have found SO healing in my relationship with my husband – and I have seen this be healing in others’ relationships including my students’ – is that you actually can GET to experience being loved, even if there are things about you, you yourself struggle to love.
We all struggle with that elusive day in the supposed future when we’re no longer going to be plagued by our bad habits; be it procrastination, smoking weed, overeating (that’s mine), overindulging in Netflix, etcetera, etcetera.
The True Essence of Sacred Union: Imperfection Meets Love
You don’t have to be prefect to find your true, sacred partnership love.
You just have to be you.
You have to have your heart open and be receptive and you need a smart dating strategy so you don’t get into any situation ships with riff raff.
If you’re a feminine woman you need to know that about yourself, date smart, filter for masculine, high quality and ready men and then learn some powerful partnering skills that most of us don’t learn at home or at school.
That’s it, that’s all, the end.
You don’t need perfect self-love because you’re not meant to experience all the love you could ever need, alone.
God didn’t make men and women just for procreation.
Do you think Creator/Creatrix such as the one that created our realm would create a female and a male spirit and body just because we are supposed to love OURSELVES?
NO. This narrative breeds perfectionism, self-criticism and loneliness.
We are meant to love EACH OTHER.
We are meant to learn to LOVE EACH OTHER WITHOUT sacrificing ourselves even though that’s what religion tells us we should do.
But that’s another post.
Doesn’t it make you wonder why the whole mainstream narrative seems to be weaponized against the possibility of true sacred union between masculine and feminine in men and women?
Common narratives that cause division and war between the sexes such as:
You’re not enough.
Men are cheaters.
Women are gold diggers.
You’re not skinny enough.
You’re not rich enough.
The mainstream narrative is an expert at weaponizing and antagonizing our human animal survival energy and pitting us against each other.
I wanted to write this to you today so you don’t spend any more time thinking about what else you need to improve about yourself in order to be “eligible” for love.
Neo, Trinity, and Us: Embracing Vulnerability in Our Love Journeys
And one more thing: So often lately I hear our reality compared to the movie The Matrix.
And I want to go to the story of Neo and Trinity.
They were not perfect.
They were imperfect people in a fallen world.
But they found each other.
And they loved each other.
And it’s because of that love that they were each able to fulfill their mission.
If you dream of that life partnership where you’re more together than you ever would or could be be alone, I want to remind you that you don’t have to be perfect to be part of something extraordinary.
Your house doesn’t have to be clean and your finances don’t have to be in order.
Mine weren’t LOL.
Hold on to your vision for love and claim it, regardless of your imperfect circumstances.
Speak, write, draw and vision for sacred union and keep choosing to believe that you’re capable of creating this even if you have weaknesses, vulnerabilities and insecurities.
These are things you can claim and be authentic about in your relationship journey.
And you will attract a real person who also has his imperfections.
In fact, I found that in MY sacred partnership, which absolutely feels like a marriage made in heaven.
And I don’t want you to think I mean it’s perfect.
But it’s perfect because it’s God’s design. LOL
But it’s not perfect in that we do have disagreements, awkward moments, struggles and sometimes even tears.
We have those.
But in my experience, my vulnerabilities at the time I met my husband and my husband’s vulnerabilities at that same time, were actually the VERY things that deeply connected us, once we revealed them to each other.
It was the reason for complementary union of interdependence.
And all that happened without all the self-love I thought I needed.
And I honestly don’t even think I have that perfect amount of self-love now.
But it didn’t matter.
I co-created sacred partnership with God and with my husband ANYWAY.
And in my case, I had a BIG part to play in how that went or whether it actually happened or not.
But my part wasn’t about loving myself MORE.
It was about showing up as myself in dating, doing the inner work of understanding men and healthy relationships, healing myself and allowing the Divine Masculine to enter my life, see me, hold me and penetrate me with his love, just as I was.
Just as he was.
I pray the same for you.
And as always, if you want help with this, just send me a PM.