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When He Shows You Who He is, Believe Him The First Time

I always coach you that when the men you date show you who they are, believe them.

If he doesn’t pay for a date? He doesn’t want to be a provider. That’s OK. He’s not for you if you’re a feminine woman.

If he doesn’t call when he said he would? He doesn’t have integrity if he doesn’t address it and explain what happened. That’s Ok, he’s not for you.

He promises trips or experiences and then doesn’t deliver? He doesn’t know how to be accountable. What else is he not going to follow up on?

I remember when I was in an unhealthy romantic relationship I couldn’t see it. I mean I saw it, but I kept making excuses for him.

Aww, he had a bad day.

Aaw, he ate something that didn’t agree with him, lol.

It took a friend smacking me across the face with her wisdom and kindness for me to finally say no more.

And guess what? I am 45 FN yrs old and I STILL have to practice what I preach.

Thankfully it’s not in my romantic relationship, because I picked and married an amazing healthy masculine man with integrity, and I did a lot of inner work to get here.

But guess where it showed up for me?

In my business.

I hired someone who promised a b and c in 90 days and 7 months later and she still didn’t have it completed and asked for another 30 days.

She had extenuating circumstances one of the months. But it has been 7 months.

I wanted the help she promised so bad for my business to go to the next level of support and flow.

I didn’t speak up loudly enough when I felt uncomfortable.

I did a lot of the things in this business relationship I tell you not to do in your romantic relationships.

I played small. I fawned.

I tried not to be “difficult.”

I wanted not to be “too much.”

I tried to “play along” and “be coachable.”

I am always teaching you, be a partner not a pickle.

But I was a pickle. And I didn’t believe her when she showed me who she was the first time.

The good part is I got up and dusted myself off.

I teach you, tell him what you need.


I didn’t talk about how uncomfortable I was – well I thought I did – with not having a timeline….but then I just went along with it.

I asked for a timeline and it wasn’t provided.

I asked for a completed project and it wasn’t provided.

I asked for a marketing plan and it wasn’t provided.

I asked for a schedule and it wasn’t provided.

My needs were not important.

I decided I don’t want a relationship like that, not even in business, I don’t care your accolades or what grandiose things you keep saying you can do for me.

I am only human and I didn’t change course sooner in the relationships that I am new to and working on – the business relationships.

It’s the same with men, with whatever area you’re currently mastering empowered partnership in.

I wanted to throw in the towel. My trust was broken. But I challenged myself to stay open and allow another chance….

I asked for a call to see what had been completed and nothing was completed, and only some things were started.

I needed to really trust myself and walk away from that relationship.

I was just so over it. I wanted more.

More feeling cared for, more feeling seen and valued, more being heard and honored – everything that is my honor to work towards giving my clients each day.

I did it. I walked away and asked for a refund.

Because you know what?

No one deserves to feel uncared for and like their needs don’t matter.

Not in a personal relationship and not in a business relationship.

Not in ANY relationship.

It’s just unsustainable and unwise and it takes a lot of work and mastery to recover from something like that and BOTH people have to be CAPABLE and desire the problem addressing and solving…and some people just are not capable.

Some of the abandonment and feeling unsupported wounds from my childhood that used to surface in my personal relationships showed up in this last business relationship.

I was able to heal them and trust when it came to men, because I created a system and a strategy to VET them.

And that is EXACTLY what I give you for free here:

But I guess I am not doing a very good job of vetting business partners, YET.

I’ve picked some good ones and some bad ones over the years.

I went by feel.

I can tell you how to VET men to a T. But I not in business, lol, not an expert at that!!!

How do YOU vet your business partners, coaches, employees, VAs and contractors? Any tips welcome!

And as always, if you want help picking high quality masculine men so you can meet your dream man and set a healthy foundation for a fulfilling marriage, then definitely get my How to Pick the Right guy checklist and send me a DM and ask about working together!!!

My clients meet their match in 3-6 months and get engaged in apx 12 months but some of my most recent clients simply applied my dating strategy above and ended up meeting high quality masculine men of which they picked their fave in as few as 5 weeks.

So you can too!

The best thing you can do to make sure you’re in a different place next year this time is take action now.

My DMs are open and when you send me a DM I am just going to respond with a few questions to see if we’re a fit to work together and if so, we can get started right away.

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