When I say men lead, it doesn’t mean you stand there stiff and do nothing and let men have all control and say over what happens in the relationship!
You’re not a passive observer in your relationship. Don’t stand there like a flaccid pickle, lol.
If you’ve ever danced salsa or bachata or tango or any partner dance you know that the man leads, but the woman has to give some weight or pressure back at the points of contact in order for the dance movements to occur smoothly.
It’s the same in our interactions with men and especially if we want to create sacred union.
Healthy masculine men RESPOND to women by leading women based on the signals that we’re giving them. If they think we’re asking them to call, they will call. If they think we’re asking them not to call, they won’t.
They RESPOND to what they think we want.
And that’s the part that I want to spell out in this post very clearly because I think a lot of women have a hard time being RECEPTIVE while at the same time taking responsibility for how they influence men.
Sometimes it’s like women don’t even know that they have a say.
That they have even more “power” in many cases than the man, because a healthy masculine man commits to making the woman he’s chosen or is with, happy. And if she is not happy, he feels like a failure. And that’s a BIG issue for him.
It’s social propaganda that the feminine just stands there and tolerates whatever the masculine wants to do with her. This is a completely inverted narrative and many women don’t even know that they are carrying it.
Women have so much power because healthy men are in spiritual need of us, just as we’re in spiritual need of them.
Being in spiritual need of the opposite sex isn’t a sign that your masculine and feminine energies are not balanced.
No human is a 50/50 blend of masculine and feminine energy.
Most biological women are on the feminine spectrum.
You have an AUTHENTIC polarity (before taking on masculine roles to survive and be valued in the world, before taking on masculine roles of guarding your heart from the unsafe adults that may have been around in your childhood, before taking on the masculine role of “being in charge of life” and controlling versus empowering yourself by being connected to the desires of your soft feminine heart in every moment), that is feminine.
And if you want sacred partnership, you can only create that with your authentic empowerment and alignment to your AUTHENTIC core feminine polarity and not your tight self control.
Controlling means that you’re tightly managing your appearance, behavior, feelings and how you present yourself in the world according to an external set of criteria VS ALLOWING yourself to express your AUTHENTIC needs, feelings and letting your behavior and actions follow suit.
And another thing: Because so many women control themselves VS empower themselves, they think that a man controlling them is actually masculine health.
And it’s not. A controlling man is a sure sign of masculine UNhealth.
You’re betraying yourself and you’re betraying any potential for a healthy partnership by allowing, expecting and moving aside so the man can dictate the pace of the relationship sexually, physically, mentally, financially, geographically, or emotionally.
You get a say. Don’t put yourself away! Your power partnership DEPENDS on your input. Otherwise it won’t be a power partnership and it won’t be YOURS.
Show him your passion, share your heart, don’t hold back!
There can be no partnership if you hold back!!!!
You need to stay true, authentic and share with him what you need, desire and require.
Anything less is you NOT owning your power in the relationship.
A healthy man will be leading with your needs and wants in mind. Which means you PARTICIPATE by telling him what they are. You participate by acknowledging and appreciating him when he provides for them and gently re-orienting him when he’s off the mark (because he’s human).
I recently watched an absolutely BRILLIANT ticktock video by Destinee Quinn where she gives an example of HOW to do that.
The question she was asked was, how do you react if he doesn’t open the car door?
And she says, “never take it personally – first of all because there are so many different reasons, no one ever taught them, no one ever expected them to, they don’t want to seem desperate, they could be nervous, they might forget, they don’t want to come off too strong.”
She suggests you play a little flirty game and point at the door handle and say, “OMG what happened to your door handle, come look at it – it doesn’t open, it’s stuck .” LOLOL
So he comes and opens the door, and you say, thank you so much, you FIXED it.
This is IT!!!!!
Do you SEE it? Classy Queen with a sense of play.
If he LIKES you and keeps seeing you, I guarantee he’s going to do it EVERY SINGLE TIME. And he will want to provide even more…. like pulling out the chairs, asking if you’re hungry, etc.
If you handle the times he doesn’t meet your needs and desires, like a Queen and show him HOW to treat you with your kindness and generosity, he literally will fall in love with you.
If you’re with a healthy masculine man – he needs genuine information, participation and reciprocation.
Healthy men NEED your reciprocation.
The LAST thing they want is to control you, dis-empower you or diminish you in some way.
Society teaches us, especially as young women and female children to be small, unseen, unheard, and unremarkable.
But healthy men want the opposite.
Healthy masculine men are in touch with their divine masculine power.
And they want you to be in touch with your divine feminine power.
They are literally as thirsty for your divine feminine power as you are thirsty for his divine masculine presence.
You’re not in your power because you stay quiet, don’t speak your preferences and don’t tell him what you want because ”you’re letting him lead.”
You’re not in your power if he asks where you want to go for dinner and you don’t honestly tell him where you want to eat to “make it easier for him” or because “he should pick the place.”
NO, he shouldn’t. He wants to know what YOU want. TELL him for F sake.
End of transmission.